Chivalry lives
Yesterday morning I was listening to the radio, and the DJ was commenting on how shocked he was about something he had recently witnessed. A young man and woman were leaving a restaurant, and the man (GASP!) opened the car door for the woman.
Maybe it's just me, but I hardly found that shocking. We've all heard the phrase "chivalry is dead," but I simply do not believe that is true. Many guys are chivalrous; some just display it in subtle ways. Some may do it by opening a car door, and others may show it by letting their date order first or walking on the outside of the sidewalk so that the woman is away from traffic. And I do know guys who adhere to these principles.
To me, what it boils down to is being polite. Listen when someone is talking. Don't let a door smack someone on his or her way out. Offer to help carry big, heavy bags. Again, plenty of men do this.
What do you think? Are you shocked when you see a guy opening a door for a girl? Does chivalry matter at all, or should we just give up on it altogether? Men: Do you like doing these things for women or does it just annoy you? Women: Do you like it when men do these things for you?
Maybe it's just me, but I hardly found that shocking. We've all heard the phrase "chivalry is dead," but I simply do not believe that is true. Many guys are chivalrous; some just display it in subtle ways. Some may do it by opening a car door, and others may show it by letting their date order first or walking on the outside of the sidewalk so that the woman is away from traffic. And I do know guys who adhere to these principles.
To me, what it boils down to is being polite. Listen when someone is talking. Don't let a door smack someone on his or her way out. Offer to help carry big, heavy bags. Again, plenty of men do this.
What do you think? Are you shocked when you see a guy opening a door for a girl? Does chivalry matter at all, or should we just give up on it altogether? Men: Do you like doing these things for women or does it just annoy you? Women: Do you like it when men do these things for you?
posted by Anonymous at 10:50 PM
7 Comments:
Let me just say I moved out of Georgia for 8 years. 2 1/2 in Ohio and 5 1/2 in Colorado. Before moving back home to Macon. And southern boys do act like they should. When I first moved to Ohio I had more than one door smash me in my face for 'assuming' the other male person in front of me would hold it open. I found out quickly that men in other areas of the country are just not raised like our men here (give or take a few). I am happy to say I moved back and married me one of those good ol' southern boys!
I don't know — I have spent plenty of time up north and down here in the south, and I have to say — I don't think it is a region thing.
I met my boyfriend here in Georgia, like me, however, he is not from the south. But on our first few dates, he kept trying to open the car door for me, I just never gave him the chance. Finally he was like, "Will you please let me open your door?" : )
I definitely think that all guys have that chivalrous side, it's just a matter of if they show it. And of course, if you let them show it!
My mother would kill me if she ever heard of me not opening the door for a woman or an elderly person. And I don't know who taught me the 'walk on the side closer to traffic' thing, but I realized about 15 years ago that it was a reflex. It is something of a Southern thing, sort of like addressing people as ma'am and sir.
In regard to what Roxy said about giving men a chance to be chivalrous: I think a lot of times women, in an effort to assert their independence, stop men from doing these things by telling them "I can open doors for myself."
My boyfriend called me out on doing that after I asked him why he didn't open my car door anymore. Apparently I was unintentionally telling him that I didn't like it, even though I really did!
I think maybe its on the verge of dying but there are still a few good guys out there. Like the one that saw me trying to carry a microwave stand all by myself to move it into my apartment, and he carried it for me, even though he was on his way out the door and I was in the parking lot. And I live in Michigan, so the north isn't completely void of chilvary.
Chilvary is dying. It isn't often that you see a young teenage boy open the car door for his girlfriend or mother for that matter. My boyfriends daughters think it is "stupid" that their dad opens doors for me and lets me order my dinner first etc. In today's world, it's all about what you teach your sons/daughters. If Chilvary is dying it is because parents aren't teaching their son's/daughters what they should do and expect. I am fiercely independent but not so much so that I do not appreciate the gestures of a true gentleman and I would be offended if my boyfriend didn't open my car door. (just as an FYI - I will open his door if he is carrying all the groceries :-)
My 13 year old son opens doors for me most of the time. It's not completely automatic to him yet. If he forgets, I step aside and he gets the door. We get some looks too. He makes me proud all the time because of what a great kid he is.
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