Passing the buck
One thing (out of many, I know) that can make a date go sour: money.
I always hate deciding who pays when I go on a date. There's always that awkward moment when the check is placed in front of you. You eye it. Your date eyes it. Then, eventually one of you picks it up.
Some people think the man should always pay. But that's not fair, especially when one or both people are in low-paying jobs or still in college. When two people just start dating, I think that whoever does the asking should pay. The other person should offer to split it (hey, it's nice to be asked), but the offer should not be accepted. If you liked the person enough to ask him or her out on a date, you should pick up the tab -- it's your treat.
But then what do you do when you get past just dating and actually become a couple? Then you do stuff together all time, and it's not necessarily someone asking the other one to do something. I think couples should take turns paying. If the man pays for dinner one night, the woman pays for it the next. Or she pays for the movie that same night. Since my boyfriend and I live two hours apart we have this deal where whoever does the driving doesn't have to pay. If I go up there, he pays, and if he comes down here I pay. It's sort of like a bonus for spending the gas money. The system's not perfect, but for the most part, it works.
Now, I'm not gonna lie. I like be treated, and it makes me feel special. Sometimes I roll my eyes when I have to pay. But the fact of the matter is that you have to be fair, and it's not fair if one person is paying for everything all of the time.
What do you think? Who should pay for dates in a relationship?
I always hate deciding who pays when I go on a date. There's always that awkward moment when the check is placed in front of you. You eye it. Your date eyes it. Then, eventually one of you picks it up.
Some people think the man should always pay. But that's not fair, especially when one or both people are in low-paying jobs or still in college. When two people just start dating, I think that whoever does the asking should pay. The other person should offer to split it (hey, it's nice to be asked), but the offer should not be accepted. If you liked the person enough to ask him or her out on a date, you should pick up the tab -- it's your treat.
But then what do you do when you get past just dating and actually become a couple? Then you do stuff together all time, and it's not necessarily someone asking the other one to do something. I think couples should take turns paying. If the man pays for dinner one night, the woman pays for it the next. Or she pays for the movie that same night. Since my boyfriend and I live two hours apart we have this deal where whoever does the driving doesn't have to pay. If I go up there, he pays, and if he comes down here I pay. It's sort of like a bonus for spending the gas money. The system's not perfect, but for the most part, it works.
Now, I'm not gonna lie. I like be treated, and it makes me feel special. Sometimes I roll my eyes when I have to pay. But the fact of the matter is that you have to be fair, and it's not fair if one person is paying for everything all of the time.
What do you think? Who should pay for dates in a relationship?
posted by Anonymous at 10:23 AM
2 Comments:
At the start of our relationship, my BF wouldn't let me pay for anything. But once we became a couple, it became a 50-50 split. Sometimes he pays, and sometimes I pay — it's not a big deal.
Even when we go get groceries to cook that night, or are just picking up a few snacks, we have the cashier split the total and each of us pays half.
Now, I don't want it to sound like he doesn't treat me, because he does...a lot. Which is why I like to even it out when I can.
I agree that once you start getting serious or seeing each other on a regular basis it is best to take turns paying. Just think, as much as you like to get spoiled and treated to a nice date, I bet your significant other feels the same way.
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