Babies...or baggage?
Would you date someone who had a child, or children, from a previous relationship?
This was a question that came up after a conversation between my boyfriend and me after we discussed having children — not whether we wanted to have kids but rather the fact that, thankfully, both of us have escaped having any mini-me's running around. We've both taken many precautions while we have been together and in previous relationships to ensure that there are no oops' in our lives.
Right now, as a 25-year old who is about to turn 26, my view on having children hasn't changed much — I'm pretty certain I don't want any kids. For some, that may seem unheard of, why wouldn't anyone want to have a child? But, for now and probably well into the forseen future, I have to many things on my own agenda that I want to accomplish and am unwilling to relinquish. I don't think with that attitude I should be put in charge of raising another human being. Although it would probably make some therapist happy.
Which is why the thought of dating someone with a child is equally weird for me. My boyfriend has the same view as I do when it comes to having children, so he thankfully didn't have kids when we started dating (and obviously still doesn't). But I have to be honest — I don't know if the relationship would be what it is now if he had a child.
I realize how completely unfair that is, especially as I have a couple of girlfriends with children who are looking for loves of their life but face the rejection from many men not interested on taking on a complete family. I can sympathize with my friends, because it isn't easy finding love, but I can also see the man's point of view because I have some of the same reservations about dating someone with kids.
Of course an argument is, what if he is a great guy, what if you are missing out? And while I have never been in a situation when it comes to dating someone with kids, I am more inclined now to say that I may not pursue it. You never know though. Would you date someone with a child? Or would it be to much baggage to deal with?
posted by Anonymous at 2:06 PM
2 Comments:
I have never wanted to have children, either, mainly because I don't think I could take the baby years. My BF has a son, but the son was 7 when we started dating, so the baby thing was not an issue. I probably would not have gone out of my way to date someone who had kids, but it wasn't a deal breaker for me. My BF is definitely worth it, and his son is a pretty cool kid, too!
I have two children. I would hate to date someone who feels they are baggage. My children are an extension of me. One thing I know for sure is that my kids love me unconditionally and they will be there for me. I am a super mom, and can be a super girlfriend, friend, or lover. So, I would not date someone who felt as though my children are baggage, if they can embrace my love then they will find that they will have love from two other people also. MORE LOVE!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home