The friend test
At some point in every relationship, you have to introduce your new sweetie to some of the people you care about the most: your friends.
Meeting the friends is a big deal. You always want your partner's friends to like you, and you want your friends to like him (or her). You also want your date to like your friends. The whole ordeal can be as stressful as meeting the parents. And much like meeting the parents, this can go over smoothly, without a hitch when everyone meshes well. It also can be recipe for disaster if personalities clash.
Many people are familiar with phrases such as "Bros before h***" and "Chicks before d****." But it can reach a point when you have to stand up to your friends. Sure, you should carefully consider what they say (because they're the ones who know you best and only want the best for you), but ultimately, you have to decide for yourself whether their arguments are valid. And it is possible that they're not.
How important is the "friend test" in when you're dating someone? If your friends didn't like your significant other, would it be a deal breaker? What would you do?
Meeting the friends is a big deal. You always want your partner's friends to like you, and you want your friends to like him (or her). You also want your date to like your friends. The whole ordeal can be as stressful as meeting the parents. And much like meeting the parents, this can go over smoothly, without a hitch when everyone meshes well. It also can be recipe for disaster if personalities clash.
Many people are familiar with phrases such as "Bros before h***" and "Chicks before d****." But it can reach a point when you have to stand up to your friends. Sure, you should carefully consider what they say (because they're the ones who know you best and only want the best for you), but ultimately, you have to decide for yourself whether their arguments are valid. And it is possible that they're not.
How important is the "friend test" in when you're dating someone? If your friends didn't like your significant other, would it be a deal breaker? What would you do?
posted by Anonymous at 10:40 AM
2 Comments:
The frieds test is huge with me. If a guy can't take my girls as part of the package, he won't be around long. My man can't take me away from my friends, so he's going to have to be willing to go along for the ride! My friends come first and foremost at this point in my life, and I see no reason to change that. I wouldn't want to lose friends over it, after all.
It's very important that my friends like my BF, and pretty much all of them do. There was only one time where I was made to feel like I had to choose a friend or my BF (put entirely forward by my "friend"), and it completely changed my friendship with her.
She was, at one point, one of my closest friends, and couldn't understand why I was spending a lot of time with my BF — time that used to be entirely spent with her. The unfair part was that she had repeatedly chosen her boyfriends, or guys she was dating, over me. I didn't get mad, because I knew that I would do the same thing.
It's important to remember that sometimes a relationship takes center stage, but that doesn't mean our friends are any less important. But if a friend makes you feel bad about a relationship, than she's more than likely jealous that she doesn't have the same thing. That doesn't make her much a friend at that point.
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