Three Little Words
There are scary moments in every person's life — leaving home for the first time, getting into your first car wreck....and the first time you want to tell the person you are in a relationship with that you are....hiccup...in love with them.
It might be the most terrifying part of a relationship, beating out even those times when you find out your significant other isn't perfect and that the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. Timing, who says it first, where to say it, how to say it — the build-up is insane for a sentence that will be over in less than five seconds.
And yet, it becomes so hard because it is the defining part of the relationship — the reaction of the other person can determine the tone of the relationship for a very long time. If they say nothing....and continue to say nothing for, say, a year....than it adds an insecurity to the relationship. If they say it back right away, but look less than enthused and quickly draw into a shell — that's a pretty good sign that person didn't want to say it in the first place.
I said it first to my BF, and he waited until the next morning to reciprocate, which I thought was good. Had he said it first, I probably wouldn't have stolen his moment of saying it either. I would have given it the night and said it back to him the next day. All in all, I think it was perfect for us.
How about you? What was saying "I love you" like? Did it go smoothly, or did it turn into a disaster?
It might be the most terrifying part of a relationship, beating out even those times when you find out your significant other isn't perfect and that the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever. Timing, who says it first, where to say it, how to say it — the build-up is insane for a sentence that will be over in less than five seconds.
And yet, it becomes so hard because it is the defining part of the relationship — the reaction of the other person can determine the tone of the relationship for a very long time. If they say nothing....and continue to say nothing for, say, a year....than it adds an insecurity to the relationship. If they say it back right away, but look less than enthused and quickly draw into a shell — that's a pretty good sign that person didn't want to say it in the first place.
I said it first to my BF, and he waited until the next morning to reciprocate, which I thought was good. Had he said it first, I probably wouldn't have stolen his moment of saying it either. I would have given it the night and said it back to him the next day. All in all, I think it was perfect for us.
How about you? What was saying "I love you" like? Did it go smoothly, or did it turn into a disaster?
posted by Anonymous at 1:18 PM
2 Comments:
My boyfriend was the first to say "I love you." It took me a few days to reciprocate because I wasn't as sure. It was nice though. It could have been pretty awkward, but we talked a lot in those days about exactly what each of us thought that love meant. It was nice to realize just how open our relationship was.
-CMH
We still laugh at our first "I love you" story and it has been five years since my now husband first said it to me. He said it after we had only known each other for a week. I was completely caught off guard and I think I finally responded with "I think I am falling in love with you too." A few days later I said it back. Later we talked and laughed about it and my husband still stands by, when you know, you know. I think trying to plan out the "perfect" time to say it will always backfire. Say it when you know you mean it, say it when your heart tells you to, say when you aren't afraid to put your feelings out there regardless of the other person's response may be.
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