But that isn't cheating!
No one wants to be cheated on, and most people don't want to be the ones doing the cheating, either.
But sometimes one side of the couple may view the other side as cheating, when the supposed "cheater" thinks his or her actions are just fine.
Each of us has our own definition of cheating, and in a relationship, it's important to be clear that both people understand what cheating is.
For me, cheating is doing anything with someone of the opposite sex that you wouldn't want your partner to see. Or, to put it another way, doing something that you wouldn't do with your partner sitting next to you. Also, it's whatever you wouldn't want your partner to be doing with another person. (For me, that includes hand-holding to kissing to the big NO of sex.)
When I was in an LDR, I lived by that rule. I made a lot of guy friends in Macon (more guys than girls, in fact), so when I hung out with them, I made sure that I wouldn't be doing something that I wouldn't do with my now-ex-guy sitting next to me.
Do you agree with my definition of cheating? What would your definition be? Does your definition depend on what stage of the relationship you're in, or is it the same all the time?
But sometimes one side of the couple may view the other side as cheating, when the supposed "cheater" thinks his or her actions are just fine.
Each of us has our own definition of cheating, and in a relationship, it's important to be clear that both people understand what cheating is.
For me, cheating is doing anything with someone of the opposite sex that you wouldn't want your partner to see. Or, to put it another way, doing something that you wouldn't do with your partner sitting next to you. Also, it's whatever you wouldn't want your partner to be doing with another person. (For me, that includes hand-holding to kissing to the big NO of sex.)
When I was in an LDR, I lived by that rule. I made a lot of guy friends in Macon (more guys than girls, in fact), so when I hung out with them, I made sure that I wouldn't be doing something that I wouldn't do with my now-ex-guy sitting next to me.
Do you agree with my definition of cheating? What would your definition be? Does your definition depend on what stage of the relationship you're in, or is it the same all the time?
posted by Anonymous at 10:52 AM
7 Comments:
I think you described it well... anything you wouldn't do with your partner there!
I think to some degree it does depend on which stage of the relationship. At some point it has to come up that you're each only with the other, and no one else is in the picture. Before that, it would be tough to call someone on cheating.
I agree — if you don't want your significant other to know what you have done, or you wouldn't do it with them around — it's cheating.
This may be off topic, but I have often wondered while watching shows such as the Bachelor if you can really be in love with two people at the same time. And if so, if you are "hooking up" with them both trying to find out your real feelings is that cheating? I am not talking from personal experience by any means, but I just always wondered if those guys and girls could really love or have strong feelings for two people at the same time or is just about hooking up and liking the attention?
I think in serious stages of a relationship, cheating can even occur when a person shares intimate details about themselves with a member of the opposite sex. I strongly believe that there is something called "emotional" cheating, and if someone has to share their innermost thoughts and feelings with someone other than their husband/wife/or serious boyfriend/girlfriend, there is a problem.
There definitely is such a thing as emotional cheating, and it can be just as harmful, if not moreso than physical cheating. It's going outside the relationship and connecting with someone of the opposite (or same!) in a way that reaches beyond friendship. And it destroys trust, let me tell you!
Actual symptoms:
1. Only friends she has are ex-boyfriends 2. Travels to other states to visit ex-boyfriends 3. Invites ex-boyfriends to come stay with her. 4. Entertains ex's through phone/text.
Then throws the trust card at me....
I gave her up for lent.
Good for you, Anon. #3! (Just don't start her back up again in 40 days.) :)
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