Fighting Fair

In relationships — at least ones that want any chance of surviving — the art of fighting is one that should be given extreme attention. This is mostly so that both parties in the argument don't end up saying something they may regret, and so that the overall message during the course of the fight comes across clear.

I know people who say they never fight in their relationships, and some of those relationships are no longer, but I think fighting can be a good thing. And not just for the making up part. But it's important to know that you can get upset, express that sentiment, and both sides are still as commited to the relationship as ever.

Of course, to get to that point, certain rules have to be remembered. The first, of course, is to fight fair. If there is a certain problem nagging you — stick to that problem. Don't use the fight to express every time he or she has made you angry — because then the fight spirals out of control and a lot more hurt feelings are caused.

Next, remain calm. Screaming is not an effective technique, and will more than likely cause the other person just to tune you out. If you speak calmly, it shows that you are serious about what you are saying.

And, by the end, if you are sure that you have said everything you want to say, let the fight go. For good. Otherwise, it will all come up in the next fight.

What are your fighting rules? And how often are you able to stick to them?