Converting for love
I was watching one of my favorite shows, "Sex and the City," last night, and it was the episode where Charlotte decides to convert to Judaism so that she can marry Harry. During the whole process, she puts up a Christmas tree one more time and goes slightly crazy trying to learn everything she can about her newly-embraced religion.
Maybe it is because I have never been faced with that situation, but I can't really ever imagine being able to give up certain core beliefs, such as my religion, for the sake of a relationship. Many of the religions are so similar that converting isn't really much of an issue. But when you throw such religions as Judaism, Buddhism or the Muslim faith into the mix, things tend to get a bit trickier.
The only instance of inter-faith relationships I have ever witnessed was the one between my brother and his wife. My family was raised Lutheran, while my sister-in-law's family is Catholic. As most familiar with religion know, there really isn't all that many differences between the two faiths. My brother didn't convert, but my nephew and niece are being raised Catholic and more often than not, my brother attends the Catholic Church. Not really a big deal at all.
But what happens when it's Judaism and Lutheranism that meet and want to date, or even marry. Christmas is my favorite time of year, and there is no way that I could just pretend that something I believed in for my entire life just all of a sudden doesn't exist. It could never happen for me. If I was ever faced with that decision I would have to find a common ground, perhaps celebrate both religions. It may get confusing and overwhelming, but I would think it would be better than asking one side to give up an essential part of them.
What do you think? Would you convert? Have you converted? And how does it help/hurt the relationship as a whole?
Maybe it is because I have never been faced with that situation, but I can't really ever imagine being able to give up certain core beliefs, such as my religion, for the sake of a relationship. Many of the religions are so similar that converting isn't really much of an issue. But when you throw such religions as Judaism, Buddhism or the Muslim faith into the mix, things tend to get a bit trickier.
The only instance of inter-faith relationships I have ever witnessed was the one between my brother and his wife. My family was raised Lutheran, while my sister-in-law's family is Catholic. As most familiar with religion know, there really isn't all that many differences between the two faiths. My brother didn't convert, but my nephew and niece are being raised Catholic and more often than not, my brother attends the Catholic Church. Not really a big deal at all.
But what happens when it's Judaism and Lutheranism that meet and want to date, or even marry. Christmas is my favorite time of year, and there is no way that I could just pretend that something I believed in for my entire life just all of a sudden doesn't exist. It could never happen for me. If I was ever faced with that decision I would have to find a common ground, perhaps celebrate both religions. It may get confusing and overwhelming, but I would think it would be better than asking one side to give up an essential part of them.
What do you think? Would you convert? Have you converted? And how does it help/hurt the relationship as a whole?
posted by Anonymous at 3:15 PM
4 Comments:
I made a personal choice to avoid dating someone with a drastically different religion. I'm Baptist, so I don't believe I could date anyone who isn't within the protestant faith. Even if the person wouldnt want me to convert, I think it puts too much pressure if we were to get married. How would we celebrate holidays? How would our children be raised? I can't imagine having to give up something so deeply personal, but that's just me.
I'm the product of a Jewish/Catholic marriage. Despite my Jewish grandmother disapproving the marriage, not attending their wedding, and my dad having to swear any of his children would be raised Catholic, they have lasted 26 years both having their own religious beliefs. I suppose it is also worth mentioning that I consider myself agnostic and my brother is an athiest, but we were both raised Catholic with mom.
I would never change my religion because of a person, but I would be willing to consider new options. I do believe in something, I just don't like defining it and haven't had (or haven't taken) the time to really see what there is. If someone wanted to open my eyes to something, I would take it into consideration. I am really opposed to pushy religious nuts though, and most I have met seem to be Christian. I think that my parents situation leaves me open to the idea of loving someone who believes differently than me though.
That is one of my favorite S&tC episodes too.
I would never change my core beliefs to be with someone. It's important to remain who you are in a relationship and not become who your partner is or you lose your own identity.
Now if this is something that you have truly explored, studied, and come to believe that's a horse of a different color.
I don't think I could change my personal beliefs for someone else. I've believed in one religion for 23 years ... meeting someone else can't change that.
I think it is possible for two people who have different religious beliefs to marry, but I think it would be difficult and confusing for the kids. However, I would not rule out the possibilty.
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