How to get him or her to notice you!
Have you been wondering why no one comes up and asks for your number? Or you really like that guy (or girl) but he or she doesn't seem to be picking up on the hints?
According to this article, it could be because you aren't giving off the right hints. It's as simple as standing the wrong way, or bad arm placement!
We've talked about pick-up lines on this blog, but getting to the point of approaching a person or having a person approach you can be just as difficult as actually talking to someone. Me, I don't know if I have ever been good at either situation. I'm not shy, by any means, but it never goes quite the way I imagine. Case in point, after a bit of eye contact at a party, my current boyfriend first started talking to me after a chip I was eating when haywire and I accidently hit him in the face with it. It would be a good story had it ended with the exchange of eye contact (inviting body language!) but I'm pretty sure all experts would advise against throwing food to get someone's attention.
Some of the "Not-to-do" highlights in the article include:
—How can someone tell if you are (or just appear) unapproachable? Look angry, or have a "rigid, tense facial expression."
— Another sign of appearing "unapproachable" is making zero eye contact! (Note to those who do this, "force" yourself to keep your eyes off the floor.)
— Other things to avoid: Figiting, constant adjusting of clothes, hair, etc., and crossing your arms or standing with them crossed.
But you should do these things:
—"Stand up straight and SMILE!"
—"Arms open"
—Look at people when you talk to them.
It's easier said than done (which is the case with most things!) But give them a try and let us know how it works!
According to this article, it could be because you aren't giving off the right hints. It's as simple as standing the wrong way, or bad arm placement!
We've talked about pick-up lines on this blog, but getting to the point of approaching a person or having a person approach you can be just as difficult as actually talking to someone. Me, I don't know if I have ever been good at either situation. I'm not shy, by any means, but it never goes quite the way I imagine. Case in point, after a bit of eye contact at a party, my current boyfriend first started talking to me after a chip I was eating when haywire and I accidently hit him in the face with it. It would be a good story had it ended with the exchange of eye contact (inviting body language!) but I'm pretty sure all experts would advise against throwing food to get someone's attention.
Some of the "Not-to-do" highlights in the article include:
—How can someone tell if you are (or just appear) unapproachable? Look angry, or have a "rigid, tense facial expression."
— Another sign of appearing "unapproachable" is making zero eye contact! (Note to those who do this, "force" yourself to keep your eyes off the floor.)
— Other things to avoid: Figiting, constant adjusting of clothes, hair, etc., and crossing your arms or standing with them crossed.
But you should do these things:
—"Stand up straight and SMILE!"
—"Arms open"
—Look at people when you talk to them.
It's easier said than done (which is the case with most things!) But give them a try and let us know how it works!
posted by Anonymous at 1:25 PM
4 Comments:
Some good pointers on what your body language means, but I don't think giving tips on what body language to use makes sense! Those things come naturally when you are comfortable, interested, excied, and whatever else you're feeling. Sure, some people are more easily comfortable in situations and open to conversation or meeting people, but that's your personality. Why try to act unaturally?
I think the tips on body language can be good. I often cross my arms across my chest when I'm cold (and let's face it, that's often), so when I read in a magazine that crossing my arms made me stand-offish, I made a conscience decision to stop doing it. I really think I need to just carry a jacket around everywhere, though. That might help.
Point taken, Rose, but I think that applies to more than just catching the attention of someone else.
Ok, so I'm coming in a little late on this, but it's the weekend, and I'm playing catch up.
A lot of these are good tips (we should always try to have good posture!), but I did have to take issue with one section:
"To appear more approachable by men, women should not take up a lot of space (taking up space is a sign of power and superiority). Women should also keep their feet no farther than 6 inches apart. After all, on New Year's Eve you want to send the message that you have room for a conversation.
"For men, appearing more dominant effectively draws the attraction of women. To attract women, stand with your feet 6-10 inches apart, and toes pointing outward. Feel free to take up some space. "
I know these tips are meant for a New Year's Eve party, but even so, as a woman, I'm not ever willing to try to shrink my space. I work in a field that is male-dominated, and I need them to see me as an equal. The same goes for outside of work in a party situation. I don't want to be with a man who feels "dominant" -- I want to be with a man who is my equal and respects me as I respect him. While there are some women and men that may seek that sort of a relationship with each other, it's not for me at all. I want people to see me as having power and superiority, or at least as having the ability and potential to have it! I feel that the "women should make themselves small, men should make themselves large" idea is an outdated concept, and a dangerous one for women to fall into. I think a woman should always believe that she is just as able and talented as a man, and should have the confidence to talk to them as equals and not as the submissive person to his dominant character.
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