Finding common ground
Sorry for posting so late on a Friday (I was swamped today), but better late than never, right?
Anyway, to the point ...
About a month or so ago, I realized that besides liking each other, my boyfriend and I really don't have that much in common. He likes "screamy" music, and I like music along the lines of Kelly Clarkson and Hilary Duff. He likes deep independent movies, and I prefer comedies and chick flicks. And when it comes to clothing style, we're totally different.
I asked my boyfriend if he thought this was a problem -- that we didn't have much in common. He said it wasn't because both of us try to appreciate what the other likes. I go to his concerts, and he goes to mine. We take turns picking out movies, and don't pick on each other for the way we dress (OK, maybe I pick on him a little). As long as we respect the each other and our likes and dislikes, we'll be OK.
Of course, when it comes to values, like how people should be treated, we're usually on the same page.
I'm interested in what you guys (and girls) think. Is it important to share the same interests, or can people get along just fine without them?
Anyway, to the point ...
About a month or so ago, I realized that besides liking each other, my boyfriend and I really don't have that much in common. He likes "screamy" music, and I like music along the lines of Kelly Clarkson and Hilary Duff. He likes deep independent movies, and I prefer comedies and chick flicks. And when it comes to clothing style, we're totally different.
I asked my boyfriend if he thought this was a problem -- that we didn't have much in common. He said it wasn't because both of us try to appreciate what the other likes. I go to his concerts, and he goes to mine. We take turns picking out movies, and don't pick on each other for the way we dress (OK, maybe I pick on him a little). As long as we respect the each other and our likes and dislikes, we'll be OK.
Of course, when it comes to values, like how people should be treated, we're usually on the same page.
I'm interested in what you guys (and girls) think. Is it important to share the same interests, or can people get along just fine without them?
posted by Anonymous at 10:59 PM
5 Comments:
I do think some common ground is necessary, but those things can be developed and discovered over time. Experiencing new and different things is great for getting to know someone, but sometimes I know I feel like I just want the familiar and ordinary. I wouldn't want to feel like I am making my man do something just because I want to do it, but at the same time I'd have no problem doing things I know he enjoys and trying my best to enjoy them too...just not all the time. I think it is inevitable that eventually you would start to appreciate the things he likes and he for you. Otherwise you probably won't be having much fun when you get together, which isn't a good situation!
In the long run, I think such vast differences will only serve to distance the people in a relationship from each other. I agree with the previous post that you can grow to appreciate each others' differences. However, at some point, over the course of a long-term relationship, you will need to stand on common ground with your significant other, not just appreciate the separate patch of earth he or she calls home.
The one positive thing is that you like movies, he likes movies. You like going to concerts, he likes going to concerts.
The different genres may be different, but ultimately you like DOING the same things. And that is more important than the rest of it!
you're doomed
I think I'll take my chances.
Post a Comment
<< Home