I pledge my virginity to you...Dad?
When Jessica Simpson married Nick Lachey, the big news at the time was that she was a virgin no more. Simpson's pledge to her virginity was well-documented, and even high-lighted by the news that her father, Joe had given her a ring that symbolized her commitment to staying a virgin until she was married — which she did.
And now, ceremonies of such a commitment — girls pledging to their fathers that they will stay virgins until marriage — are popping up all over the country.
That's great if a girl wants to stay a virgin...but it is more than a little creepy to have a ceremony to celebrate that virginity and then swear to their dads that they will remain sex-free until marriage. Such a craze is called "Purity Balls" and is becoming a pretty common occurence, according to this article.
It's a great idea to impress upon a young girl that waiting to have sex until you are in a committed and loving relationship is a good idea. However, these balls are like marriages...only to your father. And the ages range from under 10 to early mid-20s — I'm not quite sure an 8-year-old will have the same view on the ceremony as a 25-year-old. One of the "rules" of these balls is to bring girls that have already begun menstrating...double ew.
Again, promoting safe and meaningful sex is one thing, but I think these balls make sex, and even kissing according to one girl, seem bad or wrong in a way — and that is more than a little untrue.
What is your take on these ceremonies? Are they a good thing, or do they cause more harm? And would you go through one?
And now, ceremonies of such a commitment — girls pledging to their fathers that they will stay virgins until marriage — are popping up all over the country.
That's great if a girl wants to stay a virgin...but it is more than a little creepy to have a ceremony to celebrate that virginity and then swear to their dads that they will remain sex-free until marriage. Such a craze is called "Purity Balls" and is becoming a pretty common occurence, according to this article.
It's a great idea to impress upon a young girl that waiting to have sex until you are in a committed and loving relationship is a good idea. However, these balls are like marriages...only to your father. And the ages range from under 10 to early mid-20s — I'm not quite sure an 8-year-old will have the same view on the ceremony as a 25-year-old. One of the "rules" of these balls is to bring girls that have already begun menstrating...double ew.
Again, promoting safe and meaningful sex is one thing, but I think these balls make sex, and even kissing according to one girl, seem bad or wrong in a way — and that is more than a little untrue.
What is your take on these ceremonies? Are they a good thing, or do they cause more harm? And would you go through one?
posted by Anonymous at 3:39 PM
7 Comments:
The morals are in the right place (although a little too fixed for my taste), but I feel like the over the top ceremony is compensating for something... possibly the fathers realizing what they are doing is just a little bit creepy?
It seems like the hubub over it pushes girls in two directions... the ones who soon act on their curiousity, possibly sooner than other girls who don't have their virginity placed on a pedestal and the ones who feel like they will never find love like their father's and never leave home.
While the concept is admirable, I disagree with purity balls because they perpetuate a double standard for women. Boys are not ever asked to pledge their virginity, especially in a public ceremony. Girls/women are expected to be chaste and pure, but boys/men are expected (that's right, I said it ... EXPECTED) to sleep around (boys will be boys and all that crap). Now here's the problem: it is impossible for both of those expectations to be true. You can't have virgin girls AND promiscous boys, and the girls usually end up getting the short end of the rope. Sure, have a purity ball, but only if you have your sons attend too!
Haha, Rose. I am surprised I didn't get all up in arms about that too. I absolutely agree with you though!
I think it sounds unrealistic for our society today. I wish it was a perfect world and all girls and guys would save themselves for marriage, but it's just not going to happen, even with a virginity pledging. Some may remain virgins, but will Dad really know?
I was surprised, when reading that article, that it made a connection between people who've had sexual relations before marriage and divorces. I, personally, would have to get very close to my significant other before looking to get married. That involves a physical bond as well as an emotional and mental bond.
These purity balls put such a negative stigma on sex, that they're only going to either make young girls demonize something which is quite natural, or tempt them to jump into things too early for the sake of deviance and becoming their own person. I'm not saying that waiting to have sex until marriage is a bad thing, but rather that people are all different, and there is enough negativity associated with sex already.
Perhaps if everyone was more accepting and open about sex, there would be less people who are hurt by submitting themselves out of guilt or insecurity, and more people who make thoughtful descisions about when they are ready.
i think that its up to the girl to stay a virgin. You cud lie and still keep the ring. At least that's what i'll do!
I've been through one. I am now 18. I just lost my virginity like a week ago. Im not telling my daddy though. It sucks really! But the again the rules are meant to be broken..haha
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