No lovin' online
I'm not an online dater.
I've never joined an online dating service, organized a date through MySpace or Facebook and certainly never met in person a stranger I have only spoken with via the Internet. Part of it's because I like playing it safe -- you never know what kind of creepy person you might actually be talking to. But the other part is that I believe it just doesn't work.
Sure, I know people who have tried it. One of my good friends met one of her ex-boyfriends online, and they had a long-distance relationship go on for quite some time. Of course, I did say that he is now her EX-boyfriend. And in high school, one of my teachers met her husband online. But then she ended up having an affair with a student, who she is still with today. I did hear about a student at UGA who met her current husband via Facebook. He lived in New York, and she moved up there and married him. I believe they're still together, but to me, that's just weird.
I don't believe you can't really get to know someone if you're communicating with them mainly through cyberspace. The Internet is very impersonal, and you can make yourself come off as a completely different person online than who you are in person. A shy person may come off a lot bolder online, or a sleaze bag may make himself sound like a prince. And maybe this is biased, but I have a hard time believeing that perfectly normal, nice guys get subscriptions to online dating sites, because if they were so nice, wouldn't they have a date in real-life?
What do you think? Do you know anyone who has met the love of his or her life online? Do online relationships work out or are they doomed for failure? Can you really get to know a person if you're talking to them online?
I've never joined an online dating service, organized a date through MySpace or Facebook and certainly never met in person a stranger I have only spoken with via the Internet. Part of it's because I like playing it safe -- you never know what kind of creepy person you might actually be talking to. But the other part is that I believe it just doesn't work.
Sure, I know people who have tried it. One of my good friends met one of her ex-boyfriends online, and they had a long-distance relationship go on for quite some time. Of course, I did say that he is now her EX-boyfriend. And in high school, one of my teachers met her husband online. But then she ended up having an affair with a student, who she is still with today. I did hear about a student at UGA who met her current husband via Facebook. He lived in New York, and she moved up there and married him. I believe they're still together, but to me, that's just weird.
I don't believe you can't really get to know someone if you're communicating with them mainly through cyberspace. The Internet is very impersonal, and you can make yourself come off as a completely different person online than who you are in person. A shy person may come off a lot bolder online, or a sleaze bag may make himself sound like a prince. And maybe this is biased, but I have a hard time believeing that perfectly normal, nice guys get subscriptions to online dating sites, because if they were so nice, wouldn't they have a date in real-life?
What do you think? Do you know anyone who has met the love of his or her life online? Do online relationships work out or are they doomed for failure? Can you really get to know a person if you're talking to them online?
posted by Anonymous at 9:50 AM
10 Comments:
I have personally met several normal, nice guys via online dating. One of the most popular reasons that these guys joined online dating sites is that they don't like meeting people in bars. I tend to agree with that way of thinking. Online dating is not just for losers who can't meet people the traditional ways. It is also for those who don't enjoy looking for a mate at an alcohol-soaked venu or for those who are very busy and don't have time to seek out other ways of meeting people. It can also help those who may be wishing to meet people within a wider geographic area than traditional dating allows for. I've found it to be a very effective way of meeting people and suggest that the author try it before she knocks it.
I know a lot of people who have entertained the idea of online dating, and for some, it has worked out.
I have to say I am with Rose, however. While there may be a few people out there truly looking for a relationship, it seems to easy for the less-than-desirable candidates to pass themselves off as prince (or princess) charmings.
It can also be dangerous to a point. The person on the other end can turn themselves into just who you want them to be.
I also, anon #1, don't think Rose needs to try it, nor does anyone who doesn't feel comfortable using the online method. Comfortable is key here, and some don't want to bear themselves to someone they met on the internet, only to find that other person may not be who they claim to be.
Online services allow you to meet people who live locally that you would probably never cross paths with otherwise.
Yes, I am an online dating service because I cannot get a date. But that does not mean that I'm a loser and it does not mean I want to have an online relationship with someone a thousand miles away. It just means I don't have many chances to meet singles my age.
As far as danger goes, it is everywhere. Whether in a bar or online, you just need to use common sense, stay aware, and trust your instincts.
If I ever feel the need to use one of those sites, I'll personally write myself off as desperate and pitiful, even though I recognize that others who use it are not necessarily those things. I just don't feel it is the right route for me, but I can see how others might make it work.
I think one of the only major benefits I see to online dating is the faceless factor. You're basing your opinion more on bare essentials... likes, dislikes, music, movies, and whatever else you feel like sharing with the world. I know I could never date a guy who can't appreciate the amazingness that is Beauty and the Beast or broadway musicals, but I'll just go out on a limb and ask him, not find him by searching for men who list that movie on their myspace, facebook, or wherever.
Hell, I'd just end up with gay men anyway. How is that different from real life?
My best friend, who will be getting married in December, meet her guy on Match.com. I too was never a beleiver in online dating, and thought how good could this guy be. I even thought she might not even make it to her wedding...however after meeting this guy and to see how in love they are, it couldn't be more normal. So for those out there who are dating online, all I have to say is...go for it. You may meet your future husband also.
I see that everyone has an opinion about online dating and that is fine. But you can have an opinion without putting other people down by calling them desperate and losers. One of my good friends has met three different guys that she dated for different lengths of time(because that is what she wanted) all of whom were great! One in Destin, Fl. another in Tucker, GA., and lastly right here in Macon. The last one has proposed to her. He is a good guy.
I have tried online dating on three different sites and have not had much luck with it. That's fine, it's just not for me. But again if you use the same common sense that you would if you met someone in person you will be fine. People can always come off differently than they are, whether in person or in cyberspace.
I know a couple who met many years ago via online dating -- back when it was not as socially accepted as it is today. They have been married 8 years now.
I don't see anything wrong with online dating services. Especially if you are a person like Anon #1 and don't care to meet other singles at bars, etc.
And as for the folks who met online and are not currently together (be that they divorced or just stopped dating) that can and does happen in any relationship -- whether or not it's initiated online.
As a note, no one is being called a loser should they choose to use the online method for meeting people.
It just isn't for some people. If you don't want to be insulted for using match.com or any of the other ones, than don't insult those who don't want to do it.
I know several people who met their significant others online, one of whom just had a baby. Even though it worked for them, I just wouldn't feel comfortable going that route.
Suppose someone leaves a comment on your blog, and you comment back, and then he comment sagain and you comments back to him. He lives on the other side of the world. Without even realising you get used to this guy and look forward to his messages. Then you swap msn addresses and start chatting for hours everyday. This person becomes part of your daily life. One of your friends. You're interested. He turns out to be a good guy. You're hooked. You meet in person. You really hit it off. He needs to go back home, and you're still holding on to him. And all you ever did was post one blog!!! Look life sometimes some really really strange turns! So you really really shouldn't judge. If it never happened to you, there a ton of people who have experienced, who trust me are not losers and who can have any guy/girl they want.
Online dating is different then what I have just described. I have never, and do not see myself ever joining an online dating agency. But look at it this way... who has most intergrity according to you? A person who goes at bar, drinks the night away, sees a pretty face and goes after it. Or a person who goes through someone's profile and chooses carefully the persons who interest them and might eventually date?
How fun. . . .Im Not here to question anyones integrity . . .im not here to call anyone a loser. . . .and lord knows i cant call anyone out about using the internet to meet people. I love the post above me and I like to call that "Life Getting in the way"
Dating online (like most topics in this blog) is a topic that can be discussed and debated throughout the ages however we do live in a finite time and this is a finite blog so i will be brief. USE YOUR HEAD! THINK! BE CAREFUL! if you will use that check list before you sign on and talk to SexyMama41 or PrinceCharles319 about what a rough day they had in Albequerque, or before you down that last shot and embasrass your self on the dance floor of the local pub, you might be a little less likely to confess your undying love to Mama/Charles or go home with Joe/Jane Schmo.
Thats My story and I'm Stickin to it!
I must say agian how much i Enjoy this! Thanks Blogger!
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