Happy Holidays!

Hopefully by now all of you have finished your shopping, left work and are gearing up for a good holiday with the family. Whether you're single, dating or married we hope you can spend the holidays with all the ones you love. Roxy already has left for her home up north, and Rose will be leaving for metro-Atlanta tomorrow. Both of us have next week off (YAY!), so we won't be updating the blog. But don't worry, we're sure we'll come back with more than enough material to keep you satisfied when we return. Until then, happy holidays and keep "Macon" love!

Hearts,
Roxy & Rose

Your definition, please?

***For those viewing at work — this is a safe post, but will have a discussion on sexual relations***

An image forever branded in the minds of most Americans is arguably the one of Bill Clinton telling the world that he did not have "sexual relations" with Monica Lewinsky. Of course, that turned out to be less than the truth, and good old Clinton tried to spin it in an interesting way. He said he didn't think that oral sex was included when discussing sexual relations.

In his mind, the only act included in that phrase is the good old-fashioned way.

Yesterday, we discussed the fact that more people are having pre-marital sex. But what exactly is that? When Clinton went into spin-control, the country was divided. Some agreed with him that sex ACTS were not actually sex, while others disagreed and said anything sexual is having sex. Period.

In my mind, when someone says "I'm going to have sex," I don't think they are talking about oral or otherwise. And I don't think any sex act is actually having sex. It's a variation, yes, but not the real thing. There's a lot more hoopla surrounding losing one's virginity than there is in losing one's sex act virginity.

But what do you think? What actually constitutes having sex? Is it any and all acts, or is it just the "old-fashioned" way that forced an uncomfortable talk between you and your parents?

Most Americans "get busy" before marriage

Virgin brides -- and grooms -- are far and few between in America.

More than nine out of 10 Americans have had sex before marriage, according to a recent study. The rates are the same for men and women and have remained stable since the 1950s, which means that unlike many people think, we're not having more premarital sex than we used to.

I was pretty surprised when I read those conclusions in this morning's newspaper. Sure, I knew lots of people had premarital sex, but I didn't think it was "more than nine out of 10." I mean, that's almost 100 percent. I thought surely there were more people out there like Jessica Simpson who waited. I also was surprised that we're having premarital sex at the same rates as people did more than 50 years ago. I guess we're just more open talking about it now, so it seems more prevalent.

Is anyone else surprised at the results, or do they seem about right to you? Also, what do you think of premarital sex? Should people wait, or is waiting overrated?

To gift or not to gift?

When going to a significant other's family for the Holiday's for the first time, should you automatically bring a gift or do you wait until you know if you are getting one?

It may seem like the latter choice is the way to go, because after all, Christmas is the GIVING season, but I don't think it is that cut and dry. For example, if you are spending the Holiday with your significant other's family for the first time, and you get them something and they don't recipricate, it can get a bit awkward. At that point, one or more people feel guilty about being giftless. On the flip side, if you show up to the house with nothing and then receive a gift, you feel like the worst person ever — even if it was unintentional.

My BF is coming to my house for Christmas, and will be receiving presents from family members — I told him this just to keep him aware of the situation and in case he wanted to do anything in return. He said he had already thought about it, and planned on getting something for those people anyway. Problem solved.

What is your take on it? Do you automatically bring presents, or do you wait and see?

Ten dates for under $20

I've come to realize that dating can be an expensive venture. In the quest for two lovebirds to spend time together, they also usually end up spending a lot of hard-earned cash as well. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are a number of dates you can go on around Middle Georgia for under $20. Don't believe me? Read on.

1. Have a picnic. The Ocmulgee Heritage Trail is a great spot to spread a blanket and eat together. Make your sandwiches from food you already have at home, or go to the grocery store and pick up some sandwiches and potato salad.

2. Visit the Capitol Theatre downtown for a movie. Movie tickets are under $5 each, and you still have money left to spend on a slice or two of pizza.

3. Grab some ice cream. The weather outside feels like spring, so don't be bashful about eating this frozen treat in the winter. Marble Slab on Zebulon Road in Macon and Coldstone Creamery on Watson Boulevard in Warner Robins are still open.

4. Have a lunch date. Lunch is usually cheaper than dinner, and you can easily eat for $20 at any number of the sandwich shops downtown. My favorite, of course, being Bert's. Hint: you'll save money if you order water instead of a soft drink.

5. Go ice skating. Ice skating is tentatively set to start Saturday, Dec. 23 at the Macon Centreplex. Even if you're bad, it will allow you to hang all over your special someone. Ticket prices are $8 each for adults.

6. Check out a trivia night. You can go to trivia almost any night of the week in Macon. Match your wits against your partner's and enjoy two-hours of free entertainment. Grab some drinks, appetizers or desserts while you're at it, and you'll have a night to remember. In Macon, you can find trivia at Rivalry's on Tuesdays, El Azteca on Wednesdays and Buffalo's on Thursdays.

7. Karaoke. Serenade each other or fight for the title of Worst Singer Ever. Coasters on Riverside Drive has karaoke on Thursdays.

8. Create art. Check out Amphora Pottery Studio on Zebulon Road. Pick out one of the pieces of pottery and paint it together. The only cost is purchasing your pottery piece. Paint and stencils are free.

9. Rent a movie or two. Pop some popcorn at home and snuggle up on the couch.

10. Forget the whole going out thing and stay home. Eat your own food, watch your own movies and amuse each other by giving massages or playing board games. Oh, and there's always making out.

Anyone have any other cheap date ideas?

PDA's....a do or a don't?

I was fulfilling my trashy magazine fix this week, and there were more than a few photos of celebrity couples engaged in what I would deem extreme public displays of affection. I mean, is it really necessary to literally kiss your significant other's behind on the beach in full view of everyone? Personally, I say no.

But it isn't just celebrities who engage in over-the-top PDA's. I was in a bar with friends not too long ago, and we witnessed one couple where the girl was literally sitting on her guy's lap....forget the fact that there were about nine empty bar stools surrounding them.

I understand being completely smitten with someone and wanting to show it off...I just tend to keep my relationship private and not showcase it to the world. Sure, my BF and I hold hands, and we'll exchange the occasional kiss here or there. But I would never sit in his lap, keep my hand permanently attached to his or any part of his body or engage in a full-on make-out session with everyone watching. No thank you.

I suppose people who are into heavy PDA just don't care, but I've never been in a situation where you are surrounded by over-the-top couples and not been uncomfortable. But what do you think about PDA? Is it acceptable, or should it be toned down with others around?

Someone for everyone

The other day I was posed the question of whether I believe in soul mates. I answered yes, and the guy asking me then asked what would happen if two people were soul mates and lived on other sides of the world.

"Well," I said, "their paths would eventually cross, and they'd just have to meet."

I couldn't explain why I believed in soul mates, so we left it at that. But after a few days, this is what I think: There is one person in this world who is meant for you. That person is your soul mate. The two of you are intrinsically connected and complete each other. The sun shines a little brighter when that person is around, and you would do anything for that person.

Finding your soul mate is not always easy. Some people may go for years dating and perhaps even marrying other people. Some people stay married to someone who is not their soul mate. Others may never find their soul mate at all. But the moral of the story is that you have to keep trying. You have to believe that there is that one someone who is perfect for you in every way, and if you look hard enough, you will find that person. In a nutshell, I believe in soul mates out of necessity. If I don't believe in them, there's really no point in flirting, dating, relationships or any of this song and dance that we do on a daily basis. If you're meant to be together, you will be. It's as simple as that.

One of my favorite quotes is: "Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end." I don't know who said it/wrote it, but it keeps me happy.

What do you think? Do you believe in soul mates or am I completely off my rocker?

The Inevitable Slump

It happens in every long-term relationship. After the newness dies down, the relationship becomes littered with good times, bad fights, uncertainty, certainty and all of the other stuff that finds its way in — all rolled into a neat package shared between two people.

I was talking with a friend the other day who is in that new dating phase, and I found myself wishing I was back there — with my boyfriend, of course. Obviouslly, it's impossible to start new, or to get those jitters that happen the first couple months of dating, but I have to believe there is a way to get the honeymoon feeling back.

My BF and I are going on a long road trip next week, and I think that time together (Hi 12 hours!) will get us back in giddy-mode, because it's been awhile since the two of us have had a chance to just relax and have fun together. We're always on the go lately.

What suggestions do you have for getting your long-term relationship out of the inevitable slump? And what actions should be avoided at all costs?

Can you keep a secret?

When I was a freshman in college, two of my friends started dating and decided to keep the relationship a secret. So secret that even when the rest of us got suspicious and asked them about it, they denied the relationship. Eventually, we did crack them, and gloated in the fact that we knew all along.

I can think of a number of reasons why someone may want to keep a relationship secret. They may think their family/friends would disapprove of their choice of partner, they work together or they're really just only in it for a good time, so they figure there's no point in telling anyone else.

I don't know why my friends decided to be secretive about the relationship, and I suppose I never will. But I just think it's better to have the whole thing out in the open. If you're really in love -- or heck, really like the person -- you should want to let others know about him (or her). Don't keep it bottled up inside.

Have you ever kept a relationship secret? Why? Why do you think people choose not to share their relationships?

The ultimatum

One of my friends from college just got engaged. Not that it was all that unexpected, especially because she had given her boyfriend an ultimatum that went something like this — "Propose by Christmas, or we are over."

So, he proposed.

I am not fan of ultimatums, because I think it just starts the entire life together on the totally wrong note. In my mind, it says, "I think you are the one I want to spend my life with, but if you don't hurry up with it, I'm leaving you." I don't do well with being forced to do things, and so I am not about to try and force people into doing things they don't want to.

But it's not uncommon, really. I know many girls who get to a point in the relationship where they are ready for it to move forward, and force is the only way to do that.

What do you think about ultimatums? Do they work, or do they hurt in the long run?

Play it safe

I feel that this blog missed an opportunity last Friday to discuss a more serious topic than we usually discuss. Friday, Dec. 1 was World AIDS Day, and although we may have missed the date, the meaning of the day still has relevance. Chalk it up to being Public Service Announcement Day on Macon Love.

About 1.4 million people in North America have HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, according to The Body. HIV is transmitted through blood and other bodily fluids, like semen and vaginal fluid, which means you can get it during sex.

Before having sex, you should always talk to your partner about your sexual histories and health. For the sake of both of you, tell the truth, and always use appropriate protection. If you've never been tested, it's imperative that you take the time to do it — even if you think you are safe, you have no way of knowing for sure until you take the test.

It's not even necessary to worry about costs. The Macon-Bibb County Health Department, located at 171 Emery Hwy. in Macon, offers FREE HIV testing for Bibb County residents. For a cost, it also offers testing for a wide-range of sexually transmitted diseases. Costs for those tests start at $111, and that includes testing for gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, as well as optional HIV testing. For more information, call the health department at 745-0411.

A free blood test may save your life or the life of someone you love. Can you really argue with that?

More information: World AIDS Day, National Institutes of Health, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

What do you do now?

So you've had the terrifying experience of meeting your significant others friends, and he has met yours. Great, that stress is out of the way.

Until you discover your friends aren't crazy about him, and his friends are less-than-impressed with you.

Oops.

What do you do then? You can't abandon all your friends, and expect him to do the same, because than you are left on your own little twosome island...one that will definitely start to get a little too restrictive. Not to mention, you like your friends, you want to hang out with them. And every now and then, you would like your boyfriend to be by your side.

In my current relationship, this isn't a problem. As far as I can tell, both sets of friends approve of my BF and I's pairing. Whew! But I've heard many cases where that isn't so easy. One of my BF's friend's has the nightmare girlfriend who has turned into such a pain, my BF won't even go to his friend's apartment if she is there...and he is not the only one who thinks that lowly of her!

Have you been in that position? And what do you do to maintain the relationship with friends rooting against you?

Will you marry me?

Good stories are important. People like reading them and listening to them. When two people get engaged, their friends and family always want to hear the story, and more often than not, they want all the details.

In one episode of the TV show "'Til Death" the young newlyweds talk about how they got engaged (a hike up the mountains and sunrise were involved). Then, the new bride's husband said he had planned a skydiving stunt but went with hiking because it was "more us." After hearing that, the wife was obviously disappointed in the actual engagement and asked if they could tell the skydiving story instead. She thought that would make the better story.

One of my friends from high school recently got engaged. The proposal happened on her birthday when she was student teaching and involved cupcakes and kids turning over cards that read "Will you marry me?" It was down-right cute — and a good story.

To all the married readers out there: What was your engagement like? Do you have a good story to tell? Is being able to tell the story an important part of the proposal? And to all the single bloggers: Do you ever think about the way you want someone to propose to you or how you're going to do it?

You're mad at me...why?

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My boyfriend was out at a bar, chatting it up with two girls, and getting just a bit too friendly with his hands on one of them. On top of it all, when I went over to talk to him, he totally blew me off!!!

I was shocked...and incredibly angry. What did he think he was doing??

And as soon as I got the chance...I confronted him about it. Only problem was, he wasn't awake yet. So I turned over, woke him up and told him that he had been so rude to me in my dream the night before. Not to mention — he acted incredibly inappropriately. Still groggy, and bit confused, he asked me if I was really mad at him because of something he did in my dream....something that wasn't real at all. And then he started laughing, which only increased my anger. Poor guy — this was a high-maintenance moment of mine!

Sometimes that can be the problem with dreams — they seem so real at the time that you can even wake up not knowing what really happened and what didn't. I seriously woke up believing that my dream was real and my boyfriend was a huge moron....of course, I had to apologize and deal with his endless laughing afterwards.

It's funny, in retrospect — but has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been mad at your significant other because of something that happened in a dream?

To kiss or not to kiss?

In the world of dating and relationships, some debates never get old. One of those is whether to kiss on a first date.

First dates are certainly nerve-wracking. Questions and insecurities scurry through daters' heads: Does my hair look good? Are my hands sweaty? Should I open the door? Who picks up the tab? And before you know it, you're at the end of the night and wondering if you ate any garlic, if you should just go with a friendly handshake or hug, or if you should run inside before your date even notices you're missing. The thought of the kiss looms in the air, and now you must choose.

I don't have a problem kissing on the first date. If you're comfortable with the other person, or if there's so much chemistry you think you're going to pop, go for it. But practice self-restraint. The kiss should not turn into an hour-long make out session, it should not lead you back up to a bedroom and it definitely should not require you to take any clothes off. The first-date kiss is like the cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. You only get one, but you always want more. Leave your date wanting more.

What do you think about kissing on the first date? Is it allowed or a big no-no? What would you think if your date insisting or refusing to kiss?

Advice for men.....

I received this forward yesterday, and I liked it so much that I not only forwarded it my friends, but I also put it on my MySpace page. There may be a few that don't apply to me personally, but overall I think Men' Health Magazine did a good job of nailing down some of the more important things felt by woman in relationships.

All The Things She Wishes You Knew......

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or after sex doesn't count.

2. Real men can drive stick.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts)

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper into my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-dog-house-free card.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not.

17. If I'm not having sex with you, (a) having a fat day; (b) not feeling "connected" to you; (c) blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD and i'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occassional fancy-shmancy dress up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts LOVE much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with a shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary tract infections. So watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing stuff, wearing white T-shirts and jeans, driving, eating a peach, and holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. OFTEN. Tell me now.

35. Suprises, especially gifts for ME = MORE LOVING.

36. I want to be the best thing that's ever hapened to you. And for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking...

38. Discussion of ex-bf's and ex-gf's should be avoided at all costs.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your (or my) gal-pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your ass in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember EVERYTHING from our relationship.

50.You should know all this without me telling you.

The ones that stuck out to me more were No. 3 (I can't stand liars...if you have to lie, you are doing something you shouldn't), No. 11 (especially being in an LDR...phone calls are a must!), No. 13 (as well as being one of those people who deserts all her friends for the relationship...I'm still working on the balancing both thing), and No. 16 (and if I say I'm fine, you are in trouble).

I also got a kick out of No. 30 (so true, I love her!), No. 32 (it may seem silly, but I still love this...even after 2-plus years), No. 38 (I wish I knew about how bad this was before we talked about my BF's ex!!), and No. 47 and 48 (cheating is pretty much the lowest thing you can do to a person...as is lying about it).

Did any apply to you? Girls, do you think this is accurate?? And guys, what is your take on this list?