WE'RE MOVING! Beginning Monday, April 30, we're moving to maconloveblog.blogspot.com. Everything will be the same, just at a new address. We'll have a link on the new site back to this one in case you ever want to read our previous posts.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

But that isn't cheating!

No one wants to be cheated on, and most people don't want to be the ones doing the cheating, either.

But sometimes one side of the couple may view the other side as cheating, when the supposed "cheater" thinks his or her actions are just fine.

Each of us has our own definition of cheating, and in a relationship, it's important to be clear that both people understand what cheating is.

For me, cheating is doing anything with someone of the opposite sex that you wouldn't want your partner to see. Or, to put it another way, doing something that you wouldn't do with your partner sitting next to you. Also, it's whatever you wouldn't want your partner to be doing with another person. (For me, that includes hand-holding to kissing to the big NO of sex.)

When I was in an LDR, I lived by that rule. I made a lot of guy friends in Macon (more guys than girls, in fact), so when I hung out with them, I made sure that I wouldn't be doing something that I wouldn't do with my now-ex-guy sitting next to me.

Do you agree with my definition of cheating? What would your definition be? Does your definition depend on what stage of the relationship you're in, or is it the same all the time?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The one picture not to take....

Today it was revealed that one of the American Idol finalists had some fairly risque photos of her self engaging in a sexual act with her boyfriend. And once again, my question is, "Why did that seem like a good idea?"

Seriously, haven't there been enough situations where supposedly private pictures or home-videos have found their way onto the internet? I'm sure this girl didn't think that there would ever be a way anyone besides her or her boyfriend would see these photos. But what she didn't bet on was that she would make it onto American Idol, dump her boyfriend before going to California for the finals and then having the bitter ex-boyfriend send out the photos in a mass e-mail.

Slight oversight, which led to major embarrassment.

I understand that couples like to experiment, but in a technological world where pictures and videos can be seen by millions of people in a matter of seconds — it seems way too dangerous to take movies or photos. Maybe when you have been married 50 years, but until then, there is no way. Even the most trust-worthy people will do despicable things, especially if they have been dumped or hurt.

What do you think? Have you ever let someone take pictures or film you in a compromising position? And do you think the benefits out-weighed the risks?

Monday, February 26, 2007

Dating game plan

I'm definitely a planning type of person. So much so, in fact, that I have been designated the "party planner" so to speak, in my group of friends. For instance, a friend will have an idea for a party, call me to tell me about it, and then ask me to invite others.

But sometimes planning can get a little tiresome, and all I want is for somebody to tell me what we're going to do. So I'm pretty lucky that I have a creative boyfriend. He has planned picnics, movies and now even kite-flying and go-cart racing are in the mix. All I have to do is show up.

In the dating game, it's important for somebody to take the lead. If no one ever makes a plan, you'll end up sitting at home repeating, "What do you want to do?" with the reply, "I don't know. What do you want to do?" But whose job is it to take that lead?

Is it more important for the man to plan dates or for the woman? Is having a plan even important on a date, or would you rather play it by ear?

Friday, February 23, 2007

Having the ETR talk?

In college, whenever one of my friends or I were involved with a guy, the main question that was eventually asked was, "Have you had the ETR talk?"

Meaning, have you "established the relationship?"

It may be one of the most stressful moments in a relationship, right up there with the first fight and meeting the family for the first time. How soon is to soon to ask where the relationship stands, and does the other person feel the same way you do? It's a talk that can do one of two things. 1. It can completely wreck the entire thing, especially if one person says that they aren't really into having a serious relationship, or 2. It can be great, as both people realize that they are both interested in developing a serious commitment to one another.

But judging when to have that talk can be nerve-wracking, especially for the person who is itching to get an answer one way or another as far as where the relationship is heading. If the other person isn't interested in having the talk, it can get kind of awkward.

So tell us, how have you done when faced with having the ETR? Did it go well, not so well, or just so-so?

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Marriage at first sight

This morning a co-worker came up to my desk and said, "Dude, you have to read this story about Korea in The New York Times." The story, he said, was about Korean men going to Vietnam to find wives.

Indeed that was the case. Because of the preference for baby boys, many Asian countries have a shortage of women. So when it's time to find a woman to marry, some men are looking elsewhere. The practice has become so popular that there are brokers who manage such marriages, The Times reported. Korean men fly out to Vietnam, pick a woman out of a group, and, bam, just like that they're married.

The women leave because they're looking for better lives than what they had in Vietnam. The men are looking for traditional wives. But the couples seem to fall short of matches made in heaven. I mean, in the words of the Black-Eyed Peas, where is the love?

Is it possible for these instant marriages to work? Or are the couples doomed to lead unfulfilled lives? Can marriage be brokered and bought?

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Dating in the workplace

I tried dating where I worked one time...ONE TIME...and it was an absolute disaster. And I mean that in all senses of the word. He was in a way, my superior (not really, since we were both in college, but he was in charge for the most part), but when we first started out, he wasn't at all. Not that it wouldn't have been any less of a mistake had he stayed my equal, but being my superior gave him just a little extra leverage.

Sure, we were in college, and yes, the atmosphere in which we worked was laid back — but I learned that it is best to keep your work life and personal life separate...at least when it comes to dating. When everything came crashing down between us (and I'm talking Hindenburg crash), it was not fun at all. He had the reputation of not exactly being the nicest guy in the world, which didn't make anything better when I had to see him on a daily.

The upside of dating where you work is that the office is a good way of meeting people. You already have something in common with the other person, and you get to know them in a not so stifling setting. The bad side is obviously that if it doesn't work out, you have to see them all the time and be reminded constantly of your dating failure. Even worse is when that person starts dating again — and it's someone within the office as well.

Not so much fun — and it is definitely the reason to proceed with caution.

I know I won't do it again, as I have been permanently scarred by the guy I refer to as a name that I can't print on here. But how about you? Would you try it? Have you tried it? And how has it worked out??

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Skeletons in the closet

There's an old Backstreet Boys song that goes something like this: "I don't care who you are / Where you're from / What you did / As long as you love me."

That's such a nice thought. A significant other's past doesn't matter at all, just as long as she (or he) keeps on loving.

However, things aren't always so dreamy.

What if your boyfriend or girlfriend has a dark past? Say your man was in jail for attempted murder or (to the less extreme) for dealing drugs? What if your woman formerly was a prostitute or a stripper? Would you care?

I know I would. Yes, to one extent what someone did in the past can be forgotten if that person has moved on from the old lifestyle. Things can be forgiven. Doing pot, for instance. If my significant other said he used to smoke pot, but doesn't anymore, I could look past that. However, if he said he did acid ... that would be another story.

How would you deal with skeletons hanging in a significant other's closet? Could you look past them, or would their presence bother you enough to cut ties? Also, where would you draw the line? Are some things OK, and others unforgivable?

Monday, February 19, 2007

Too supportive??

I, like many people in the U.S. have been fascinated by the drama that has surrounded Anna Nicole Smith's life since her death. And yes, I have also gotten tired of all the coverage. But while there remains a crazed interest in who exactly is the father of her child, and just who will get her money, the sadness of the entire situation seems to get swept aside.

Here's a woman who got caught up in the wrong things (supposedly — although nothing has been proven) and yet, no one seemed to intervene when she obviously needed help. Her partner at the time of death, Howard K; Stern, has been shown crying uncontrollably following Smith's death, but where was he when she needed help following the death of her son?

Which brings me to the main point — how supportive is too supportive? And when do you draw the line of being there for your significant other and putting your foot down on getting them help?

I've never been in the situation where someone I have been dating has been hooked on drugs, alcohol or something equally addictive — but I have to believe that if it ever happened, I wouldn't make excuses and cover up there messes. If you love someone, wouldn't you want to save them if you could? I know that I would do whatever I could, even if it meant crossing lines that shouldn't be crossed.

It's a tough line between your business and not your business, but falling into the role of enabler seems to be just as bad as being addicted to any kind of substance or behavior. And letting someone you supposedly care about spiral into self-destruction doesn't seem like showing love to me.

What do you think? At what point do you intervene? Or do you not?

Friday, February 16, 2007

Are men intimidated by smart women?

Guilty admission: I can't start my day without reading "Dear Abby."

In one of her columns awhile back, a woman, who I believe was in her 30s or so, wrote a letter saying she could not find a suitable man. She had a good job where she made a lot of money and had supervisory activities. She was smart and could hold her own. However, she thought this was her downfall. She asked Abby if perhaps guys were intimidated by her, so should she "dumb down" her personality.

Of course, Abby (being the wise woman that she is) told her that was rubbish, and she should not make herself seem dumb to attract a man. And, of course, I (being what I consider a smart woman), agreed with Abby.

I wonder, though, what kind of advice a man might have given this woman. Are men in fact intimidated by smart women? Do men like, bluntly put, dumb girls?

Men, speak up on this! Women, have you ever dumbed yourself down for a guy? What happened?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Is it in the stars?

I've always read my horoscope, and I've even had someone read my tarot cards before. Do I fully believe in it? I'm not sure. I'm a sagitarrius, and a lot of what a sag is supposed to be does pertain to me, and sometimes, my horoscopes turn out to be right on. Still, there are other times, I read it, and than think, "What is this talking about?"

However, even with the possibility that the horoscope could be dead wrong, it doesn't stop me from looking at them anyway. And during one of my recent visits to such sites, a side link caught my eye. It was entitled, Star Sign Combatabilty....I mean, how can resist that?

So I typed in Sagitarrius and Libra (the BF's sign), and here's what I got:
_____________________________________________

The merging of Libra and Sagittarius can be paradise found for both Signs; this combination is a harmonious one, to say the least. Signs that are two positions apart in the Zodiac tend to have a very deep, special connection and understanding of one another. Sagittarius, the journeyer, is constantly in search of wisdom. Libra has a mind keen for art, beauty and aesthetics; Libra makes a stimulating companion for Sagittarius on their travels and adds much to Sagittarius's experience. The relationship always feels new because these two keep it exciting -- and yet their natural understanding of one another makes them feel like intimates from the beginning. Together they will reach new horizons in love and in life.
_____________________________________________

Now, that is the abridged version of a long explanation, but...I like it! I'm a believer! : )

Try it out for yourself at:
http://astrology.yahoo.com/astrology/compatibility/love

Let us know what you get, and if you think it is accurate! : )

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Hot animal love

Warning: This post may not be safe to view in a work environment.
In its song, "The Bad Touch," The Bloodhound Gang sings: "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals/so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel." But while the band may have been advocating humans imitating wild animal sex, I'm not sure what they'd say about watching animals do it.

Every year around Valentine's Day, a number of zoos across the country offer "adult-only" tours of the zoo, where couples can basically watch animals do what they ... well, do on the Discovery Channel. Apparently, a former penguin keeper at the San Fransisco Zoo, presumably a rather randy one, got the idea years ago after she and other keepers became fascinated watching the penguins mate. From there, other zoos across the country copied the idea, and they have become so popular that zoos charge around $50 per person for a tour, and they fill up.

I think it might be rather awkward to be on a zoo tour specifically hoping to see the lions (or whatever other animals) go at it. I might feel embarassed for the animal, having all of us gaping at its private moments. I'm not sure there are any additional skills we can gain from watching animals either.

But, this obviously floats many people's boats. So what is humans' fascinations with animal love-making? Or is it basically just sex in general that sells?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

S.A.D.?

Valentine's Day is tomorrow — just a reminder for all those who have somehow missed the overwhelming balloon and candy displays in every singe grocery and convienence store around. This "holiday" has gotten so out of control that even gas stations are advertising their merchandise for your special loved one. Ridiculous

Now, I have to admit. I get slightly excited about it — especially this year, because I have a special surprise planned for my BF. I can't reveal it right now, but I have never done anything like this, so we'll see how it goes. But I'm also quick to give in to the fact that this is a made-up holiday by those geniuses at Hallmark, who took an idea and ran with it.

However, while those in coupledom are celebrating — it's another kind of holiday for those without a significant other. And it is called S.A.D. — Single's Awareness Day. I even knew people in college who threw a S.A.D party. Now, for the past three years, I have had a BF, so I have, indeed, celebrated Valentine's Day. But before that, I never really worried about it. Not to a point where I found myself depressed or uttering the words, "I wish I had a boyfriend."

Really, even though I have a surprise planned, and I do sort of like celebrating Valentine's Day — but I never took it seriously before that. And I definitely don't think those who are single should approach it as a day that glaringly highlights being single.

But you tell me — how do you approach Valentine's Day?

Monday, February 12, 2007

Define "anything," please

"I'd do anything for you."

Now that's a loaded sentence. Every now and again those words are uttered to loved ones (or ones you lust after) to express the great gravity of feelings toward the other person. I wonder, when people say that if they truly mean they'd literally do anything.

"Would you get me illegal drugs?" I once asked a guy who said that phrase to me. (For the record, I do not do illegal drugs, this is just an example of an outlandish thing I thought he wouldn't do for me. However, I was surprised.)

"Yes," he said. "You don't do drugs, but if you did and you needed drugs to help you get off your high I would get drugs for you."

Interesting way of looking at it.

Perhaps I'm too selfish to want to do anything for a person. If that anything interferes with my values or beliefs, I certainly wouldn't do it, or if the anything would get me into some sort of trouble I wouldn't do that either. And, in a relationship, should we even want to do anything for each other? Or isn't it prudent -- and in both of your best interests -- sometimes to just say, "no"? (I mean, lets look at the astronaut. (See post below.) She'd do anything for her man, and look how that turned out.)

Have you ever been in the position where you would do anything for another person? Do you think we should be willing to do anything for another person?

Friday, February 09, 2007

Jealous much?

As most of the U.S. has learned this week (and one of our posters pointed out), an incredible case of insane jealousy splashed over websites and even made the cover of People magazine. It was a case of a woman who felt the need to drive 900 miles to confront (and do who knows what else) a woman whom shae considered her romantic rival. Or simply put, they were both interested in the same man. This woman even went as far as to put on a diaper so she wouldn't have to make stops while driving from Texas to Florida. A good move, because I think it will help out her insanity case.

Now, I have heard about being crazy in love (and heard the Beyonce song about it), but I think this is taking it just one step farther. Or two, or three, or maybe 8 million steps farther. And unfortunately, this wasn't the only love triangle making headlines. In another part of the country, a woman alledgedly cut holes in a parachute of her romantic rival, and the victim plummeted to her death.

How does that happen? How does one go so crazy over another human being that they are forced to kill or attack someone else? This has been going on for years — going all the way back to the Amy Fisher story.

I understand heartbreak is horrendous, and avoiding it is the best possible idea. But sometimes, it just doesn't happen like that. Sometimes, the one you love ends up loving someone else. And as much as it hurts and as much as it makes you feel bad as a person, at some point you have to know, you will get over it. Humans are just made that way — you deal with a devastating situation, and then you give yourself time.

Killing or hurting someone isn't going to make that pain go away...mainly, because from what I hear, prison is not fun. But you're still rejected. You're still without the person that made you that way in the first place.

What do you think? Have you ever gone over the edge over someone? Or how do you deal with the pain of being scorned?

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Single women are the new majority

You may have heard this recent statistic: For the first time in history, there are more single women than married women in America. In 2005, 51 percent of women were single, according to the U.S. Census.

What's the cause for this change? In a nutshell, an article by McClatchy Newspapers says this:

"Twentieth-century women have radically changed and men, by and large, did not." (That's from Terrence Real, a family therapist in Newton, Mass., and the author of a new book on marriage.)

The article goes on to say that women have a stronger buying power, they find more comfort in church, they take a more active role in politics and they don't settle. As for men, they've pretty much stayed the same.

Also, both women and men are getting married later in life than they used to. (Perhaps the increase in men's marrying age is due to women's? I'm just hypothesizing here.)

To some, having large numbers of single women is a "crisis." It's a disruption of marital and familial traditions. I don't see it that way. I think it gives credit to women making smart decisions and knowing themselves and what they want before they marry. If this trend continues, I would venture to guess that the divorce rate would decrease as more women wait for marriage until they are with the one they truly want. (Remember, if that actually happens, you heard it here first!)

What are you doing in your own life? Why do you think more women are single now than ever before? Do you see any problems with this?

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Picky, Picky

One of my friends recently decided that she was not going to date anyone with whom she didn't see a future — an idea that seems fairly dangerous to me.

We've been talking recently about dating and making moves here on the blog, and the idea of holding out until someone promising comes along seems a bit risky. Isn't that what dating is about? Trial and error? It's true you can't (here comes a huge cliche) judge a book by its cover and the same goes with people. How many stories have you heard about people not even liking their significant other and come to find out, they were made for each other? It does happen — but you've got to be open to the possibility.

Plus, if you are in the midst of a dry spell — wouldn't any opportunity to go out and be with someone seem like a good idea? i'm not promoting dating the creepy guy at work that asks everyone out or the next drunk guy at a bar that tells you that you have nice legs, but being too closed off and picky can lead to a lot of lonely nights.

Dating means being bold, hoping for the best and expecting the worst and being open to different experiences. Shutting yourself off isn't going to help in the search for the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend.

What do you think? Is it a good idea to only date people you could see yourself marrying? Or is being open a better idea?

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Making the next move

I was reading an article on the Life & Style pages of The Telegraph this morning about when couples should move to the next level. What I found even more interesting than the precise timing of relationships was how it was the man who was supposed to make all the moves.

Traditionally, the idea has always been held that a man was supposed to ask a woman out on a date. Now, I think we moved out of the Stone Age on that one, and many women are comfortable asking men out on dates.

However, I was surprised when most of the women quoted in the article said that when it came to "making it official," moving in together and meeting the parents, it was the man who had to make the first move.

Jen Schefft, of Bachelor and Bachelorette fame, says this in the article:

"If I want to know if a guy wants to be exclusive, I'll wait until he brings it up. It sounds kind of old-fashioned, but if I broach it and he says OK, then I'll always be left wondering if he just said that because I was the one to bring it up first."

Well, isn't it possible guys feel the same way?

Does it really matter who makes the next move in a relationship? Does it always have to be the man? Women: Do you prefer to wait for men? Men: Would you be offended if a woman made the move?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Fighting Fair

In relationships — at least ones that want any chance of surviving — the art of fighting is one that should be given extreme attention. This is mostly so that both parties in the argument don't end up saying something they may regret, and so that the overall message during the course of the fight comes across clear.

I know people who say they never fight in their relationships, and some of those relationships are no longer, but I think fighting can be a good thing. And not just for the making up part. But it's important to know that you can get upset, express that sentiment, and both sides are still as commited to the relationship as ever.

Of course, to get to that point, certain rules have to be remembered. The first, of course, is to fight fair. If there is a certain problem nagging you — stick to that problem. Don't use the fight to express every time he or she has made you angry — because then the fight spirals out of control and a lot more hurt feelings are caused.

Next, remain calm. Screaming is not an effective technique, and will more than likely cause the other person just to tune you out. If you speak calmly, it shows that you are serious about what you are saying.

And, by the end, if you are sure that you have said everything you want to say, let the fight go. For good. Otherwise, it will all come up in the next fight.

What are your fighting rules? And how often are you able to stick to them?

Friday, February 02, 2007

Dating dry spells

I never really understood the concept of a dry spell.

Sure, I'd read about them in magazines, but throughout high school and college it seemed like most of my life was, well, a dry spell. "Just wait," the magazines always said, "you'll soon come out of it, and then you'll be a dating machine."

Well, that never quite seemed to happen.

I'd have one date and then not date anyone at all for months. I'd like to blame it on the fact that I was super busy, but it's not like I was never around guys. Most of my girlfriends, with the exception of one or two, seemed to be perpetually single, too. We were all fun, smart and pretty, so I don't see why dates were far and few between.

I'd like to know if most people's experiences were similar to mine and my girlfriends' or if most were constantly in the dating pool. If you were mostly single, did you mind? Are we too hung up on dating another person rather than just loving the single life?

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Why being single is a good thing....

Or so says this article from MSN.com. Read through, and let us know what you think!!

Are you better off single?
By Dawn Yanek

Want more specifics on why you should celebrate being single? Here, 10 fascinating benefits to being unmarried:

— Reason #1: You have a better body.
We’ve all been there—you get into a relationship, and suddenly you’re trying out new recipes all the time and cuddling instead of exercising. Well, things tend to get worse with marriage. A recent Cornell University study found that women generally gain five to eight pounds in the first few years of marriage and unhappily married women gain an average of 54 pounds in the first 10 years.

For the unmarried, though, the motivation to stay slim remains: “Singles look at themselves through the eyes of others and want to be attractive to potential partners,” says Susan Davis, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City, “so they’re still ‘working on themselves.’” In short, being single is way better than any New Year’s resolution or exercise DVD to motivate you to stay in shape.

— Reason #2: You’re more likely to achieve great things.
It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you have the time, the quiet and the lack of familial responsibilities. In fact, your premarital motivation to excel in life may be biologically programmed. According to a study conducted at the London School of Economics and Political Scientists, male scientists who stay single longer peak in their careers later in life and tend to be more productive than their married counterparts. Researchers theorize that men, in general, may show off their talents to win the interest of women and then, once they’ve won a wife, get comfortable and do less. In fact, studies have shown that testosterone levels, which boost action, decrease after a man gets married and has children. So single folk should know they are primed to achieve — whether that means turbo-charging their careers or honing their rock-climbing skills — and get out there and work it!

— Reason #3: You do less housework.
You know that saying about a tree falling in a forest and there’s no one there to hear it? Well, if you leave a sock on the floor but there’s no one else there to see it, does it really need to be picked up? If you’re a single woman, you can contemplate deep questions like this one because you have more free time. According to one study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, women do less housework when single than when married. Men, on the other hand, do more housework when unmarried (that’s probably because there’s someone picking up after them once they’re wed…). So the message here is for unmarried women to enjoy their less chore-filled life; fill those free hours with classes, good books, blabbing with friends—whatever makes you happy.

— Reason #4: You can do what you want with your money—including keep it.
Go ahead: Splurge on that pricey moisturizer or that obscenely large plasma TV you’ve been lusting after. You don’t have to justify your purchase to anyone but yourself. Once you mix money with marriage, though, things change—and fast. According to a survey by SmartMoney magazine, 40 percent of women and 36 percent of men have lied to their spouses about a purchase. “When you’re single, your finances are your own,” explains Phyllis Chase, a Los Angeles–based psychologist and co-host of the radio show Shrink Rap. “When you’re married, you have to deal with different styles of spending and saving, and you may take on your partner’s debt.” And a marriage that doesn’t make it for the long haul can also have a major negative effect on one’s wealth. According to researchers at Ohio State University’s Center for Human Resource Research, during a divorce, men and women generally lose three-fourths of their personal net worth. Double ouch.

— Reason #5: You have better sex.
Married couples may have more sex (approximately 98 times a year vs. singles’ 49), but singles have better sex. According to a recent study published in the British Medical Journal, married women are significantly more likely to report problems with their sex lives than single women. “People who are dating have better sex because it’s novel,” says Davis. “Married people have to relearn how to play. It’s natural for singles because that’s the nature of a courting relationship—they tease, they experiment, they explore.” Nature lends a helping hand, too. According to researchers at the University of Pisa in Italy, raging testosterone levels in both men and women makes the sex hotter during the first two years of a relationship. After that, other hormones take over—most notably, oxytocin, a bonding chemical, kicks in. While getting connected and comfortable is a positive step in a relationship, long-term lovers have to work harder to keep things hot in the bedroom. Singles, however, sizzle just the way they are.

— Reason #6: You’re better rested and smarter.
While snuggling up next to a warm body can be pretty fantastic, according to a survey conducted by the National Sleep Foundation, your bedmate can cause you to lose an average of 49 minutes of sleep per night. Sleeping two-to-a-bed just isn’t as restful as snoozing solo. Other studies confirm that singles generally get more rest — seven to eight hours of sleep a night — than marrieds, which enhances memory, mood and concentration, as well as allows your immune system to recharge. And, according to scientists at the University of Luebeck in Germany, creativity and problem-solving may directly correlate with getting enough sleep. In the study, participants were given a math puzzle; those who’d had eight hours of sleep or more before tackling it were three times more likely to get the right answer than those who slept less. So, singles, revel in the fact that you’re alert, rested and have that extra brain-power edge.

— Reason #7: You’re less depressed.
Although the media often perpetuates the image of single people being down in the dumps, overall unmarried people tend to be happier than their married counterparts—if you’re a woman, that is. One report by the World Health Organization indicated that married women, especially ones with children, have a higher risk for depression than single women, and researchers at the University of London found that single women generally have fewer mental-health issues. “Marriage, in many ways, seems to benefit men more than women,” says Davis. “For women, there’s more of a loss of self.” And, of course, today’s women often feel like they need to do it all—have a career, take care of the kids and perform other traditionally “female” responsibilities. “People who aren’t married are still investing in themselves,” says Davis. “It’s not selfish—it’s giving to yourself, and that’s something married people can learn from single people.”

— Reason #8: You have better friendships.
Significant others are a wonderful thing, no doubt, but friends count, too. And on that front, one study found that, when women get married and have children, they spend much less time with their friends—less than five hours a week, down from 14 hours. Singles, however, often have the greatest sense of friendship and community—which can actually decrease stress levels, according to researchers at UCLA.

Here's another way to look at this: “Singles don’t rely on just one person to meet their needs. You don’t automatically know who you’re going to spend Friday night with,” says Sasha Cagen, author of Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics. “The plus side is that you have a lot of different people in your life and potentially a greater sense of social possibilities.”

— Reason #9: Your travel tales are enviable.
Marrieds take the most vacations, dominating the market with 62 percent of all trips taken, but singles arguably go on more interesting trips. According to the Travel Industry Association of America, singles corner the adventure-travel market, engaging in activities like whitewater rafting, scuba diving and mountain biking. Being single and relatively footloose certainly allows you to expand your geographical — and personal — borders. “I have lived abroad, backpacked for close to a year, have been in love three times and much more,” says Courtney Davis, 27, a media-relations manager in Boston. “With every place and every person, my world has expanded.”

— Reason #10: You know yourself—and what you want out of a relationship.
You’re a better catch now than you were at 20. You may have signs of, ahem, experience etched on your face, but that’s OK because you’re more interesting and more self-aware. Not only have you grown as a person, but you’ve probably been through the ringer a few times in matters of love and now know what you want—and what you don’t. Experts say that bodes well for future marital success and may actually decrease the likelihood of divorce. “When people get married young, they often feel like the other person will complete them, and they have trouble moving past that Hollywood myth,” explains Chase. “But maturity brings so much, because if you’re able to communicate who you are and what you want, the better your chances of having a successful marriage.” And that’s a wonderful message: Your single self is great... and should you find the right person and decide to marry, you’re more likely to thrive in that stage of your life, too.