Celebrity love lessons

I've followed celebrity gossip for quite a while now as one of my guilty pleasures, and if there's one thing I've learned, it's that celebrities are dysfunctional in love.

Case in point: Britney and K-Fed. Was there anyone who even remotely thought it was a good idea when they got married (besides the pop princess herself)? I don't think so. Now look at poor Britney: divorced with two kids and bizarre behavior.

In a column earlier this week, David Zinczenko, editor-in-chief of Men's Health, questions whether celebrity relationships are ruining our own love lives. Gun-shot marriages, kids before engagements, cheating and betrayal are all constantly set before us in tabloid magazines and the media. (A side note that I've been wondering for a while: Have celebrities ever heard of birth control? I mean, really.)

But Zinczenko proposes there are lessons we can learn from these dysfunctional relationships. Take Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, for example. Brad leaves Jennifer Aniston after supposedly hooking up with Angelina on a movie set.
Zinczenko says this:

"The celeb warning: It reinforces the difficulty some men have staying faithful in tempting situations. The positive real couples can take from it: Work is a challenge for all couples, and that can only be overcome if you continue to woo each other even after the knot is tied."

So maybe celebrity gossip isn't all bad, and we can learn from some of celebs' mistakes. What do you think of Zinczenko's lessons? Can you think of any other celebrity relationships we can learn from?

Shout out to blogger, Becki, for sending us the link to Zinczenko's column. Remember, if you have something you would like to see as a blog topic, just e-mail us at roxyandrose@yahoo.com.

Also, check out our blog from last year on Zinczenko's book, "Men, Love & Sex."

Photo credit: Access Hollywood

I'm not saying she's a Gold-digger...

But while watching Dr. Phil this morning, I don't know if there is any other way to describe the guest and "the love of her life." She's an 18-year-old high school graduate, he's a 40-year-old cosmetic surgeon. Want to know where they met? SugarDaddy.com. And yes, it is a real Web site...complete with the tagline "Where the rich and the beautiful play." I don't want to link to it, because, really, who wants to condone this?

And these two have been together for four months, he bought her a Mercedes for her High School graduation, flies her regularly from Texas (where she lives) to California (where he is). The best part? They are already talking marriage, and she said there is no need for a pre-nup because they will be married forever.

I wonder if she even believed that as the words came out of her mouth!

Seriously, who are these people? It's completely obvious that she was only with him for his money, and he not only acknowledged it, but he said he likes the idea of "taking care" of someone! What happens in your head when the idea of faking love becomes a fantastic idea if it means being rich??

I am in no ways rich, and like everyone else, would like more money. But I could never date someone solely on the chance that he may buy me a nice car. The idea of it, and what the pair on the Dr. Phil show are engaged in, is basically legal prostitution!

What do you think about these relationships? Are these people truly able to be in love?

'Til death do us part

None of us want to imagine our (future) husband or wife dying before we do, but unless we both die in some Romeo and Juliet-type tragedy, it's a fact of life we're going to have to face.

Marriage vows dictate that we love and cherish each other "'til death do us part." But when death parts you, what's next?

Both of my grandmothers died within the last four or so years. And in that time, both of my grandfathers have gotten "lady" friends. One of my grandfathers has been with the same woman for more than a year, the other seems to enjoy dating around. (My mom told me, though, that her dad still goes to her mom's grave on a regular basis and tells her about the women he's seeing, assuring her that they're "just friends." My grandmother must be rolling over in her grave.)

I think it's great that my grandfathers are still able to enjoy their lives even though their wives are no longer around. Although I have never been in their situation, I bet it's incredibly hard to move on after being married to someone for more than 50 years, as both of them were. I know that I would feel a little guilty seeing someone new, like I was betraying my deceased spouse. But I think it is possible to move on without erasing another's memory.

What would you do? Would you remarry or date after losing a spouse? What if you died first, would you want your spouse to remarry or date?

Hint, hint, hint

One of my friends is ready to get married, while her live-in boyfriend...well, let's just say he's not quite there.

And it's not like she hasn't done all she can to broach the subject — they've had more than a couple discussions and even made a trip to the engagement ring section of a jewelry store today. He didn't freak out, and even pointed to a couple she should try on (improvement!), but they walked out of the store empty-handed and not a word was spoke of it since.

It can be a very scary thing to tell your significant other that you are ready for a larger commitment in the relationship — especially if that extra step is marriage. I mean, let's be honest. Two people don't necessarily move at the same pace, especially when it comes to moving forward with another person. And talking about becoming "exclusive" is a lot easier than saying, "Ok, I feel the time has come that we need to get married."

And I'm sure my friend and her BF will soon be engaged, followed by a marriage — it just might not come as soon as she hopes or wants. But that waiting game is even more difficult. What do you do when you bring up the idea of marriage, only to have it shot down and then ignored?

It's a tricky, tricky situation — how do you handle it? What is a good way to bring up this topic? And what do you do if you don't get the response you want?

Snooping in the information age

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say that all of us have snooped (or did a little background checking) on a significant other or potential mate at some point in our lives.

The Internet, of course, makes it insanely easy to do so. Not only can you "Google" you SO's name, but you can also read their blog, check out their MySpace page and Facebook "stalk" them without so much as a blink of the eye. This method of snooping is pretty harmless. Whatever your SO wrote was put out there in a public forum for anyone to read, so it's fair game.

But then if you so choose, you can delve deeper. Passwords can be left lying around, you can stealthily watch as your SO types or you may even share your passwords with each other. Either way, it opens the door for reading more private material, such as e-mails or messages on networking sites. Or, say your SO leaves his or her cell phone lying around. With just a few key punches, you have access to text messages.

While this is all easy, should you do it?

Are you violating your SO's trust if you read their text messages and e-mails? Or, should everything be fair game, because, let's face it: Why does it matter if you have nothing to hide?

Have any of you snooped on an SO? How did you do it? Did your SO find out? Did he/she care? Is snooping OK?

This one is for the girls...

According to MSN's Emily Sachar, the points listed below are the things guys "want" us to know. Tell us guys, is this true??

1. Kissing and romance mean as much to us as sex.

2. We like you just the way you are; no models required!

3. We love when you cook us a meal, knit us a scarf, or buy us something we need without our asking.

4. We want to be constantly admired.

5. We appreciate when you contribute financially, especially if you can afford to.

6. Being kind to our mothers, siblings, and annoying relatives scores big points with us.

7. Unusual spots for sex turn us on.

8. We want to be validated all the time.

9. We need you to encourage us to take risks, and support us if we fail.

10. We can have platonic friendships with females.

11. We like women who are assertive, but not aggressive.

12. We're not as different from you as you think.

His wife couldn't bear children, so he left her

A week or so ago I heard a story about a man who left his wife.

You tell me if he was justified:

A woman desperately wanted to marry this man. She loved him, and he loved her. The thing was, though, that he really wanted a family, and she had a secret. She could not bear children.

Afraid the man would leave her, she did not tell him her secret. They even talked about having children together. She tried to bring up the topic of possible adoption, but he really wanted a child from his own blood.

The couple married and lived happily ever after for about two years. The woman was racked with the guilt of her secret, though, and eventually broke down and told her husband her secret.

The man, shocked, left the house and had not been heard from in three days at the time I heard the story. Now the woman is heartbroken because her husband left her.

On one hand, I think the man was completely justified in leaving her. She basically lied to him for two years (or more, depending on how long they dated), and that's one of the ultimate betrayals. How does he know she's not going to lie to him again about other important issues? That trust can never be returned.

On the other hand, if he truly loved her, he would get over his initial shock and be willing to work it out. Now knowing that a birth between the two of them is not possible, perhaps he would want to adopt. It's not the woman's fault that she can't have a child, and he shouldn't hold that against her.

I will say, though, that the woman had no right to lie to the man or lead him on. If he did leave her before marriage because of it, then it's better she find out then before going down to the altar. If he's going to leave her for that, he's not worth being with anyway.

I'm really curious about what you guys have to say about this. Should the woman have lied to her then-finance? Was the man justified in leaving? Should he come back? Is this relationship doomed for failure?

Note: Roxy and I have a small request of you. We'd appreciate it if you could sign your posts using the "other" option. As always, you don't have to use your real name (just make one up). It will make it easier for us to respond to your comments this way, rather than having to count which anonymous you are. Also, we're slightly vain and want to see if mostly the same people comment everyday or if we ever get new readers.

How to get him or her to notice you!

Have you been wondering why no one comes up and asks for your number? Or you really like that guy (or girl) but he or she doesn't seem to be picking up on the hints?

According to this article, it could be because you aren't giving off the right hints. It's as simple as standing the wrong way, or bad arm placement!

We've talked about pick-up lines on this blog, but getting to the point of approaching a person or having a person approach you can be just as difficult as actually talking to someone. Me, I don't know if I have ever been good at either situation. I'm not shy, by any means, but it never goes quite the way I imagine. Case in point, after a bit of eye contact at a party, my current boyfriend first started talking to me after a chip I was eating when haywire and I accidently hit him in the face with it. It would be a good story had it ended with the exchange of eye contact (inviting body language!) but I'm pretty sure all experts would advise against throwing food to get someone's attention.

Some of the "Not-to-do" highlights in the article include:
—How can someone tell if you are (or just appear) unapproachable? Look angry, or have a "rigid, tense facial expression."

— Another sign of appearing "unapproachable" is making zero eye contact! (Note to those who do this, "force" yourself to keep your eyes off the floor.)

— Other things to avoid: Figiting, constant adjusting of clothes, hair, etc., and crossing your arms or standing with them crossed.

But you should do these things:
—"Stand up straight and SMILE!"

—"Arms open"

—Look at people when you talk to them.

It's easier said than done (which is the case with most things!) But give them a try and let us know how it works!

The hook-up culture

There's a new book by Laura Sessions Stepp entitled "Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both" that's been getting a lot of comments in the press.

The book is about how young women in their 20s pursue hooking up (read "hook up" here to mean casual sex), and in doing so, damage their self-esteem and make it hard to fall in love. The book is controversial because some believe that it's right on target and speaks of serious problems in today's generation of women.

A recent article about the book can be found here.

I haven't read the book, but from reading the article, I can already tell you that it makes sweeping generalizations about my generation. I was never involved in the so-called hook-up culture, and neither were most of my friends. However, I am aware that many of my peers do participate in that culture, and maybe this book rings true of them.

Do you think that casual sex is more prevalent today than before? Do you think having casual sex does damage to a woman's self-esteem and emotional well being?

Relocating relationships?

Relationships, as we have long established on this blog, take lots of work, understanding and of course, communication.

So what do you do when the person you are in a relationship with gets a fanatastic job opportunity...across the state or even country? It's a fairly common situation a lot of unmarried people find themselves facing. In marriage, I assume, or was raised to understand, that when one part of the family moves, everyone moves. But when you are just dating someone, that pick-up-and-move attitude is compromised just a bit.

I know more than a few people, myself included, who have had to face the decision of move with the person,bear a long-distance relationship or terminate the romantic side of the relationship. All three decisions have their share of pain — moving with marks significant commitment that one or both parties may not be ready for, long distance is self-explanatory in its hardships and well, who wants to break-up with someone when you don't want to at all?

Either way, the decision is going to make both parties seriously examine the relationship and means tough conversations are inevitably on the way.

So what do you do? Or what have you done? Would you follow someone you love as they take their dream job while possibly compromising what you want? Or do you ask them not to take the job? And how does the relationship work after a decision has been made?

It's not free will, it's science!

Don't be too sad if that guy or girl at the bar snubbed your hot pick-up line. Maybe you just weren't scientifically compatible.

This morning I stumbled across an interesting article from the BBC about attraction. It says that there are scientific reasons why we are attracted to the people we are, and who we marry may be less about fate and more about genetics.

Men, the article says, look for symmetry in a woman. They also look for an hourglass figure, with -- get this -- a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7. This apparently indicates fertility. For women, symmetry is not so important, but they look for men who are able to offer food and protection, which can be indicated by a man's rank and status in society. Both men and women look for partners like their parents.

I don't really know what to think about all this, but if it's science, then I suppose it's true. It certainly makes me want to go home and measure my waist-to-hip ratio, though, just to see if I fit into the range.

What do you think? Is all this really science or just a bunch of baloney?

Pick-up lines that work?

Hey guys — I am a bit under the weather today, and feeling quite uninspired. I did, however, find this article about pick-up lines. Read through, and let me know what you think!

10 Friendly Pickup Lines
Conversation starters that don't leave you out on a limb.
By Amy Keyishian

Here are 10 uncheesy pickup lines to get you started. Be creative -- and see which icebreaking approach suits you.

"Hi." — It seems obvious, but if you make a habit of being friendly across the board, you'll find it easier to start a conversation with someone that really interests you. Sure, you might end up chit-chatting with some random guy you have no interest in, but meeting someone you like is equally possible. And why not hone your conversation skills in the meantime?

"Can you close my bracelet for me?" Or "Can you help with this crossword puzzle answer?" or any other plea for assistance. — "A guy wants to feel like a provider," says Copeland. "If he can be a hero in your eyes, even for a moment, it'll make his day." And that's sure to ratchet up his interest in you, the one who made him feel that way.

"That's a cool pocket-watch. Where'd you get it?" — Ask an open-ended question (one that requires more than a grunt for an answer) that makes him get talkin' -- and keep the conversation going from there. (Did he tell you his girlfriend gave him the pocket watch? Keep talking anyway -- he might have a cute brother!)

"Don't you think Batman's cooler than Superman because he doesn't have super-powers to fall back on?" — Let him be an expert. If a guy is reading something that you know about -- a newspaper story, a novel, or a comic book you remember fondly -- comment on it and let him show you how much he knows.

"You've got an iPod. Should I get the Nano or the 30 gig?" — "Guys are gearheads," says Copeland. "They love to talk about mechanical things."

"Do you think that couple over there is on their first date, or what?" — Commenting on something nearby can make a guy feel like he's in the cool crowd with you. But try to be careful about making fun of someone -- that might be his best buddy puffing on that stinky cigar.

"Can I sit with you so I won't get hit on?" — Not only are you asking for help, you're hammering home the fact that you're desirable. Once you've enlisted his services, you've got a captive audience and can even offer him a "thank you" drink without appearing too forward.

"This new Snickers bar is fabulous. You've got to try it." — Not only do you seem generous by sharing your candy/cocktail/mixed nuts, you're also awakening his senses -- very sexy indeed.

"So, what are you doing here?" — When you meet at an event where you're bound to know someone in common -- whether it's a wedding or just a backyard barbecue -- you can use the old so-who-do-you-know game to pave the way to a real conversation.

"I never do this, but I think you're cute and I got tired of waiting for you to talk to me." — When all else fails, there's nothing wrong with the direct approach. In fact, it's Copeland's favorite. "The drawback is that you're more vulnerable to rejection," he admits. But we're strong, capable women, right? Next fish in the sea, please!

Is love colorblind?

Since one of my friends is convinced that I base this blog off her life (for the record, I don't, at least, not intentionally), she asked that today we cover this topic: interracial dating.

My friend is a white woman. She recently started "seeing" or "talking" or however you put it, a black man. She has no problem with this, and, obviously, neither does he, but she recognizes that everyone may not accept their relationship (if it does in fact develop into that ... you know how it is in the beginning).

Personally, I think that if you can't accept two people of different races dating, you should get over yourself. Black, white, Hispanic -- it's been said a million times, but I'll say it again -- it's just a color. If he treats you well and is everything you've ever wanted in a man, then who cares if he has a different skin tone?

Some people say that interracial dating is OK for others but just not for them. They say they don't find members of other races attractive, and couldn't ever see themselves dating another race. To each his or her own, just don't be biased against those who choose to do it.

So help out my friend (who is also a fellow blogger). What do you think of interracial dating? If you are/were in an interracial relationship, how did you deal with other people's biases? If not, would you ever date someone of another race? Why or why not?

See you...in a year?

A friend of mine has (finally!) cut ties with his ex-girlfriend....or so he says. I've heard it many times before, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it is the truth! His was the definition of a "toxic relationship" so it's definitely a good thing that she is out of his life.

And while I was telling him this, he informed me that they decided to give themselves a year of separation, and than after a year, they would see if they could at least be friends again. And that stopped my well wishes for him. It just seems that putting a time limit on when you can talk to an ex again seems counter-productive. Especially in this case — they were together for five tumultous years...stuff that a year apart doesn't erase. What, I wonder, is the point? All you do for that year is think and ponder and await the day you can talk to your ex again, It doesn't seem like the best idea when you are trying to "move on."

I would think that a better way to get to a point when you could talk to your ex and not discuss getting back together or who did what wrong in the relationship would agree that neither would initiate talks....but not put a time limit on it. If you are agreeing not talk in the first place...obviously that person should probably not be a main player in your relationship!

What do you think? Have you made such an arrangement? And has it been a good idea, or did it put your life on hold for a year?

The love doctor speaks, part II

This is Part II of an interview with relationship coach Michelle McKinney Hammond. Read Part I here.

Macon Love: What do you think about cheaters? Do you think once a cheater always a cheater? Or do you think people can change?
Michelle McKinney Hammond: People can change. Will they, is the question. ... They usually only change after suffering severe loss or meeting someone who really inspires them to want to have integrity. ... I would observe (a past cheater), how they interact at home, at work, their friendships, their family because all the tell-tale signs are there. Little deceptions, little white lies, inconsistencies are danger signs, and you should pay attention to them sooner than later.

ML: Should you automatically break up with someone if they cheat on you?
MMH: After much discussion, you would have to find out what the reasons are, but (cheating is) usually indicative of an unfaithful spirit. Do you want to continue on that route afterwards? That's up to you. It's different when you're in a marriage. You should try to reconcile. You should try to work it out because you're at a deeper level of commitment, but if you're in the place of just courtship and this is happening already, that is not a good sign. I would break it off.

ML: What if your friends don't like someone that you're dating?
MMH: Your friends are usually right. ... You're going to have a make a judgment call on if it's jealousy, but most of the time even if we say it's jealousy, it's not. Our friends are the people who care about us.

ML: What do you think are common dating mistakes that people make?
MMH: Giving too much too soon, informationally and physically, not asking the hard questions, not paying attention to red flags and not being as transparent as you need to be for a long term relationship. ... Not communicating your needs but having roles that the person cannot fulfill because they don't know about them.

ML: When you say giving to much too soon, when is too soon?
MMH: I think past relationship talk, that's your personal business. There's a time to get into it but not at the very beginning. ... (Over the long-term), I think you share information that only has the potential to affect your relationship, like 'I can't have children,' that's a piece of information a man should know. Something of that nature.

ML: When do you think you should get involved physically?
MMH: I don't think you should have sex until you're married. I think we give way too much too soon. We give away pieces of ourselves continually that we never get back, and when we meet someone deserving of our love, we have nothing left to give or we're jaded and we're in a whole 'nother place. ... I think that you learn true intimacy by your communication and time spent without (sex) being the focus. And that gives you a good indication of what type of lover that person will be because if they can't master intimacy without sex, there's an issue.

ML: What are some of the 'hard questions' people should ask?
MMH: How did your other relationship end? Where are you financially? How are you handling your money? Have you ever experimented with a homosexual relationship? ... All the questions that will affect your life together are going to have to be discussed. Those things don't happen by osmosis.

ML: One of our bloggers wanted to know: What role does romance play in a lifelong committed relationship?
MMH: It should have a healthy, active role in your relationship lifelong. Romance doesn't stop after you say 'I do.' That should really be the start of it. ... Romance keeps the passion alive and keeps you respecting and loving one another and wanting to honor one another.

ML: Do you think TV and movies have painted the way that we view marriage?
MMH: Most definitely.

ML: In what ways?
MMH: First of all, they give us a false idea of how relationships work because they don't really work on relationships on television, and love does require work. So it is very important to know that it's going to take work and nurturing and hard conversations and determination to keep your relationship up and running all the time. ... And of course everyone looks beautiful for television, so the pressure is on that if we don't have these perfect little bodies (and) if we don't look camera ready, then a love can't happen. It's not real life.

ML: So, what's your relationship status?
MMH: I am happily single. I am unavailable. I am off the market. I wouldn't be a good partner right now, and I know that.

ML: Anything else you'd like to add?
MMH: I think that you have to remain hopeful and that you cannot become jaded. You have to have a good attitude. You have to really like men. You have to really like women. Keep hope alive that a relationship is possible, and give everyone a fair chance, but don't be stupid either.

Comments? Was this advice worth reading? Is it helpful or does it seem outdated, like "The Rules"?

Advice from the love doctor

Earlier this week, I had a telephone interview with relationship coach Michelle McKinney Hammond. She answered questions you had, as well as questions on various topics we have discussed in the blog. Because the interview was so lengthy (and I don't want you to get intimidated by a super-long post), I'll post Part I today and Part II tomorrow.

Today's topics include: what is a relationship coach, how to get a date, the importance of going out, dating in the workplace and moving in together. Check back tomorrow for the rest of the interview, which includes these topics: cheaters, friends and dating, common dating mistakes, romance, television/movie relationships, as well as our expert's relationship status.

Macon Love: What exactly is a relationship coach?
Michelle McKinney Hammond: A relationship coach helps people navigate through their relationships. (People) usually tell us what they want to happen in their relationships or the problems they've been having, and based on that we're able to (diagnose) like little love doctors. That's what we are. We're the love doctors.

ML: How do you become one?
MMH: If that's your area of study, and it has been for me. I've written over 20 books on relationships, so I think that qualifies me. ... I read books, and I interviewed people.

ML: How can someone get a date or partner?
MMH: You have to first be open for love. A lot of people just say they want a love relationship, but are they really open? Probably not. Are they available? Are they making themselves available? Are they getting out and meeting people and circulating? ... You should have interests and things that really ignite you and frequent those types of places that feed your passions and your interests so that you meet people who have things in common with yourself. I think the first thing that you have to do, though, is decide what kind of relationship you want to have and have a clear-cut picture of what you're looking for because if you don't have that, you could pass up some good stuff and accept some bad stuff.

ML: What if somebody says, 'Well I am available and open and circulating?' Do you think that perhaps they're not really?
MMH: I think that you've got to get out of insisting that everybody you meet is a potential mate. I think you've got to be friendly and learn to accumulate friends. ... The best marriages are friendships that grow into love relationships. ... It might not happen with that person. Maybe that friend has a friend. But if you don't develop that relationship with that person, you may never meet the next person.

ML: We asked for questions from some of the bloggers, and one wanted to know: How important is dating, that is physically going out, in a relationship? She said she was seeing a guy who liked staying at home a lot and wanted to know if going out itself is important.
MMH: A person does what is reflective of who they are. So if he doesn't like to go out a lot, he's sending you a signal now -- that when you're married, you won't be going out a lot. If that's OK with you, that's fine. ... Economically, it's not realistic that you're going to be going out all the time, so I don't think that's important. What's important is the character of a person. How they treat you on a daily basis, how transparent and accountable they are to you. Can you account for their time? Are they faithful? That's the stuff that lasts. The dating and going out, that part fades.

ML: Another question from a blogger: What's your take on dating in the workplace?
MMH: An absolute no-no.

ML: Why do you say that?
MMH: It complicates things, and if you end up not making it, then you gotta go to work and face this person who broke your heart. It's just not a good idea. It's distracting, and it usually does not work.

ML: Do you think it can ever work?
MMH: It can, and I've seen it work. But then you're at a real place of maturity, and you've already discussed how you're gonna handle things should it not come to fruition. ... You don't date somebody immediately who you meet at work who you have all this chemistry with. It definitely is a situation where I would be a friend for a long time, so I would be much more sure of the relationship before I decide to make it a courtship.

ML: What do you think about couples moving in together?
MMH: No.

ML: Why is that?
MMH: Between 70 and 80 percent of people who live together never get married. ... Those relationships basically do not work.

ML: Why do you think that is?
MMH: If you can't ever commit, how can you commit to a commitment?

ML: How is moving in together not committing? I'm a little confused.
MMH: You're a little confused? I'm confused when people say that's different from being married. Because you decided to pay bills, and in a sense what you decided to do is give yourself an easy out. So you don't want to pay the price for getting out, but you don't want to pay the price for getting in either.

ML: What about couples who are engaged?
MMH: When you get married, you can live together. People do get left standing at the altar. An engagement does not guarantee a marriage.

So what do you think of Michelle McKinney Hammond's advice so far? Love it? Hate it? Do you agree or disagree with what she has to say. Let us know below.

Remember to come back tomorrow to read this expert's opinion on cheaters, friends and dating, common dating mistakes, romance and television/movie relationships, plus her relationship status.

Workplace love gets contracted

Recently, we discussed dating co-workers on this blog, and apparently, we aren't the only ones who are wary about jumping into a workplace relationship. On the radio recently, a discussion was brought up about "Love Contracts" that more than a few companies were enforcing to protect themselves in case a relationship between two employees sours.

When I heard that, two thoughts crossed my mind — 1. How horrifying to have to include a third party, especially an employer, in your personal relationship, and 2. How smart those employers are to have such contracts. Seriously, people go crazy in relationships (think the recent astronaut debacle) and employers need protection against possible lawsuits.

I decided to do a quick Google search, and found one law office with just such contract. It's fairly straight forward, and only asks that the two people in a relationship notify human resources when the relationship starts and if it ends, avoid indiscretions at the office and consider transferring if the relationship includes a manager-type and his employee.

As I said, I think it's smart. Do you agree? And would you sign one if you found yourself in that situation?

I love you ... and you

A few day back, a blogger made a comment wondering if it was possible to be in love with two people at once, like men and women on popular television shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette often claim to be. One night the bachelor can be seen sharing kisses with one woman, telling her that she's awesome and he has a connection with her. The next night, he's doing the same with another woman.

I always found this baffling. You cannot have multiple "one and onlys." You can only have one. You either love a person, or you don't, and if you love one person romantically, you're not loving someone else romantically, too. I think the people on those shows are deluded and overcome with lust, which is really exciting and can cause people to say things they don't really mean.

Plus, the chances that your soul mate is someone gorgeous and randomly selected by television producers is pretty far out there.

Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at once? Have you ever been in love with two (or more) people at the same time?

Who you gonna call??

I backed into someone with my car this afternoon. Not a person, but their car. And I was relieved to see, upon climbing out of my car, that there was zero damage on my car, and minimal damage on her's. Both cars escaped dent free, although her front bumper had a little scratch that would need to be buffered out.

In all, it was a case that police didn't need to be involved and we should have both just driven away. That is, until she started asking for my phone number and insurance information. And I was at a loss what to do. It was at that precise moment that I dropped my cell phone on the ground and it split into three pieces. My cell and I have a bond — this did not help my already frazzled state. I started to cry, and immediately pressed the speed dial that would connect me with my boyfriend.

After he figured out that I was okay, and that the tears were more of a result from hurting my cell phone than leaving a scratch on some woman's car, he told me not to give out a bit of information. It was good advice because this woman wanted to do anything but get police or her own insurance involved. And for a good majority of the time, he stayed on the phone with me — the best he could do 132 miles away.

But I realized that when I am in trouble or in distress or just overall not in a good frame of mind, he's my first phone call. And it goes both ways — if something amazing has happened, I call him. Unless, of course, it involves him, than I call my best friend. But it's a pretty comforting thought to know that of all the times I have relied on him and gave him the importance of being my first phone call, he's gotten through with flying colors each time.

How about you? Is your significant other your first phone call? And give us an example of when they have come through when you needed them the most!

What are your questions?

Good morning, bloggers!

I hope the storm didn't mess you up too bad last night, and hopefully it provided an opportunity for you to snuggle up inside with hot chocolate and a movie with your loved one. That was my plan, at least, until duty called, and I stayed at work until 10 p.m.

Next week, I will be interviewing Michelle McKinney Hammond, a relationship coach, and author of numerous books about love. I don't know about you, but I have never heard of a relationship coach, so when I heard that this opportunity was available, I thought it would be perfect for the blog.

Since Roxy and I like to consider this blog a community, I wanted to ask you all what questions you have for Michelle. They can be about anything at all related to dating or relationships. Leave your questions in the comment section below before midnight on Monday, so I can ask your questions (as well as some of my own).

Here's a press release, written by Pure Publicity, I received about Michelle, so you can have a better idea of what we're talking about:

Relationship coach Michelle McKinney Hammond has counseled thousands of women and knows even the most independent women desire the healthy attention of men. She is the author of over twenty self-empowerment books that have sold millions worldwide. In her brand new release The Sassy Girl’s Checklist for Living, Loving and Overcoming (Harvest House, February 2007), she provides women simple principles and a personal checklist that will help them discover a healthy love life:

Stop living on the Defense - “Women need to stop taking things so personally. When you face a relational conflict it could be another person’s reacting to a build up of other stressful experiences.”

Control Your Man-Power – “We know we have the power to influence the way a man views other women…chances are if a man doesn’t trust women you can thank another woman for that.”

Give Your Approval – “Men live for the approval from the woman they love…a disrespectful woman will cause him to direct his attention to another woman who will give him affirmation.”

Learn to Cook – “Conversation combined with a meal prepared by a woman’s hands will bring intimacy to a relationship… dining together provides a setting for support and uninhibited conversation.”

Cover Your Man – “Discretion is learned and a woman who does not expose other people’s secrets will be viewed as loyal and trustworthy.”

Resilience Equals Respect – “A woman can choose to let her problems make her bitter or better…when she is able to endure and bounce back from difficult circumstances, then she will quickly earn the respect of others.”

Ask Questions Before Giving Advice – “Women need to wait before they give advice and ask questions so their man can clearly assess his situation and make his own healthy conclusion.”

Live in Balance – “Women need to prioritize their time and learn when to put aside their job, other commitments or busy schedule, and balance the attention she gives her man, her family, her friends and her community.”

I can't wait to read some of your questions!

Those crazy quirks

I've developed a habit of eating crackers in bed. Cliche, right? But crackers have become my new favorite snack, and I'm talking Saltine crackers. Mainly because they are low-cal, low-fat and filling — the right ingredients for snacking.

The problem, however, is that crumbs do occasionally slip onto the bed — and for the most part, I do catch them. Apparently, I don't catch enough of them. It was most apparent one night when my boyfriend and I were watching a movie in my bed, and every time he moved, he was like, "Are there crumbs in here?" I hadn't noticed, but it drove him so crazy we had to change my bed sheets before he could relax. I haven't stopped my cracker-eating habit, and I'm sure he'll still notice. It's just one of my quirks, and he loves me anyway!

But everyone has a little something that is behavior that is all their own — from crackers to sleep patterns to waking up styles to eating — and those behaviors only get highlighted when you get into a relationship with someone. My BF has his own habits, and even though they drive me insane, I deal with it, just like he deals with my odd habits. And it works, because we understand that the other person is fairly set in their ways, and the habits are harmless, so no big deal!

Have you ever been called out on your behaviors, or mentioned someone's to them? How did it work out? Also, what is the weirdest thing you have run across as far as another person's behavior?